Disappointment

Last night I tried something new and went to a club party around here. It's a group that holds monthly parties at a hotel for the purpose of hooking up.

I had found the site a few weeks ago when I looked around for just that. I wanted a place where I could go, hook up, maybe try new things, and do it with people who were there for the same reason. A lot of the local clubs I found don't accept singles, or at least not single men. I also didn't want to have to pay for membership or entry until I decided I liked it and would return. Last, I didn't want to drive too far.

Last night's place met all those requirements, but not much more. The hotel the parties are held at is barely 5 minutes from my house. Single women get in for free. And it's open to everyone.

The party ran from 8:30 to 2pm; I got there about 10pm. The theme was hookers and pimps, and while I tried to dress for the part, I don't exactly have hooker-suitable clothing! I wore a thin, cheap, short black skirt I have - above the knees with a small slit up each side. With it I wore a too-small white tank top and a big, sheer, white overshit. I had heels on, red lipstick, and was good to go. No panties, no bra, no way!

I stood outside the hotel for a moment, finishing my smoke. I didn't really want to walk in alone. Some older (early 50s? Yes, I know this isn't ancient, but I'm not even 30 yet, work with me) guy parked his car and I walked in with him. Not cute, kind of skeezy almost in his black leather jacket and jeans. He gave me shit, saying
I could smoke inside. Turns out he was going to the party too.

I got my name tag with my blue dot, saying I was interested in men. The choices were women, men, couples, TS/TV, everyone, or part of a couple. Got a beer, sat down, and looked around.

A few couples; a few more skeezy older men. A group of extremely large women. Now, I'm no skinny minny, but goddamn. I didn't quite understand it, either: one mother and daughter, two sisters...weird. Most people were dressed casually. Later in the night, two black men came in dressed as pimps, and their women were dressed sort of slutty. One white girl was dressed in one of those vinyl/pleatherish dresses - showed her tits, showed she didn't have undies on, but had an ass that was seriously, seriously wide. I was amazed. Her man with her looked small and I could just not even picture how they had sex!

Anyway. I digress.

I sat at a table and smoked and watched for a while. The only man who talked to me was Jim, the guy I walked in with. Jim was a regular, and told me how the parties used to be downtown, used to get completely naked, cops, people running around everywhere, craziness. Now that's changed. We talked for a bit, smoked for a bit. I was eyeing one of the few younger guys there, he was cute and alone. Jim left me alone after 20 minutes or so.

There was a 'message hostess' that would pass notes for you if you wanted, but I didn't get any and I didn't pass any. I tried to use ESP to get CuteYoungGuy to sit by me, but he never did, and I didn't approach him.

They had a professional stripper come in, some girl named Candy. The rules though (must be city rules?) were that she had to wear pasties and a gstring. She ground on a few different guys, made some bucks. Then there was an amateur strip contest, with again the same rules.

One of the first girls to strip was one of the large women. She took off her tshirt and had a sports bra underneath, which she took off. Some guys came up, and she rubbed on them, and then a few more girls stripped. It was entertaining to watch, and I would have loved the chance to get naked in front of strangers, but with no one there specifically to grind on, and no one to cheer for me, I didn't. They had pasties there, but since I was pantiless, couldn't have taken it all off.

Some of the guys were walking around, and I could see them checking out my name tag, wondering what I was looking for. I didn't encourage any of them - I'm all for older men, but I'd like to be attracted to them, and these just didn't do anything for me.

When I saw two of the CYGs leave, leaving only one left, I took off. It was just after 12, and the hounds were getting restless.

Will I go again? Maybe. Nothing to lose, really. Was just disappointing - I was all nervous and afraid and excited and HORNY, and then...nothing.

Oh well. Now I know to have lowered expectations next time!

A Pictorial

My favorite from last night. Yes, I kept my skirt on!



His favorite:



Other good ones:

In Response...

Juicy (I'll link you once I'm home) raised a good point in the comment on the post below. Why don't I just use my own camera when I'm with these men? That way, I would be in control of the pics, and have no worries about them getting into the wrong hands.

I purposely didn't bring my camera last night because I didn't want to take pictures. I knew M was interested in doing it, but cum on - how slutty is it to take pics/vids with every knew guy I suck? That's a trend I didn't want to set.

Yet, I realized early on last night that M wasn't going to interest me. Since he was apparently grossed out by my gushing cum, and since he needed a little recovery time before I could get load #2, I figured pics would keep him excited while letting him recoup.

Taking naked pictures is exciting. I get so turned on doing it when I'm by myself, and to capture forever a guy's cock on my tongue, on my breast, inside my mouth, to see his fingers glistening as they leave my pussy...I love it. LOVE it.

Only a very few last night showed my face, and then not full on. Would I be upset if they got out? Of course, I'd be livid. Would it be my own fault? Yep. Have I learned my lesson?

I'm not sure. As of this exact moment, I don't have in my possession any of thie pics, or the vid. And yet, I trust the guys who have them, that I'll get copies and that they will respect my wishes. Am I foolish for doing so? Probably. But until I'm faced with the unspeakable, I probably won't change my actions.

Twofer

Tonight was #2 this week. A new guy, M, the one who I went to college with (I wrote about him earlier this week). We've been IM'ng a bit and he sounded, sexually, like very much of what I want. I thought we'd get together last night - he lives about an hour away - but I had a tummy ache.

Tonight, though...

Yeah. Disappointing. Got there in my work clothes - sweater set and skirt, heels, no nylons, bra but no panties - and he met me at the door. Kissed me a bit, and he wasn't great at it. I like firmer lips, I guess. He turned me around so he was behind me and I could feel his cock on my ass - seems to be the theme for the week!

He gave me the tour of his place, which of course ended in the bedroom. I noticed a Playboy on the counter and grabbed it, and we spread out in bed so he could show me what he liked. What he liked was apparently under my skirt, since he kept rubbing my bare ass. He had his digi cam there, but I said no to pics.

Soon enough, I was sucking his cock. He said he's 6", but I think it was more like 5". Not overly thick, but not a great cock, either. Anyway, I sucked it a bit, and honestly didn't feel like it was my best effort. The positions he liked just weren't conducive to good sucking - him on his knees on the bed, me lying in front? No, not great.

I didn't even realize when he was cumming at first, but he had been pretty vocal and then got fairly quiet. Since he was moaning loudly, I just kept sucking like I had been, and then I tasted it. Maybe his cock had been too far down my throat for me to taste it at first? Not sure.

Anyway, after that I asked him to put on his gang bang porn that he had told me about earlier. Some blonde chick taking on 4 guys - first just sucking and jerking all of them - and THOSE were some FAT, BIG cocks! - and then fucking them, 2 at a time with a 3rd in her mouth. Good girl.

While I'm all for dirty talk and being called names, I felt M got a little too into it. Yes, she's a porn star. Yes, she's a naughty girl. But did he really need to tell me to look at how her asshole is being used? That she's a whore getting pounded good? That he'd like to use me that way with his friends? I think it was just too much for a first meeting.

While we were watching the porn, I was leaning against him and he was playing with my bare nipples. I told him to finger me, and warned him that I make a mess. He got a towel - full size, like a bath towel - and laid it on the carpet. What? Why the carpet? And why did he get the towel wet, first? That was strange.

(Sidebar: Why do I always meet the guys who SAY they like to finger and please, but still have to be TOLD to do it? Why can't I meet a guy who'll - on his own accord - pleasure me? Not to get his dick sucked in return, and not in return for a bj already given, but because he knows it's appreciated.)

I had him finger me, fucking in and out, and then had him add a second finger to me. I came in a big gush, as I normally do, and he very rudely wiped his hand on the towel and then went to wash it off. Jerk. I was insulted, but didn't let him know. How can you tell a stranger, "hey, I'm insulted that you don't like my cum on your fingers?"

We went back to his bedroom so I could suck him off again, but he wasn't able to cum. Apparently, I give 'a mean blowjob,' but he wasn't able to cum again, just gave me precum. So I let him take some pictures.

Yeah, I know, you'd think I learned my lesson, but I want some pics, damnit! We didn't take TOO many - just a dozen or so - but got some great ones of me sucking a cock, his cock on my tit, his finger inside me...once I get them, maybe I'll post a good one. ;)

Since he wasn't going to be able to cum, I cut things short and left. Frankly, I wasn't impressed. He's too into the whole 'you're a dirty cockslut, you want to be my good slut' stuff for me to really enjoy. Yes, I like sucking cock. Yes, we talked about a gang bang, and yes, I do fantasize about taking on a group of cocks. That doesn't make me a slut, and that doesn't mean I will actually do it.

He mentioned something about getting together again, and I sidestepped it. Once was more than enough for this guy.

Monday Night...Part 2

So, I drove up to see R without telling him I was cumming over. Called him from my car in front of his building.

Whatcha doin?

Nothing, you?

Want to let me in?

(Brief pause) You're downstairs? Sure, just a sec.

I said hi to him, walked up to his place. Got inside, hugged him, told him we needed to talk. Told him that I'm okay with a casual thing for now, but it will be a while before I have sex with him. Asked him who P was, a woman mentioned on his profile, and asked if they'd be getting back together. Told him I like giving head, but I don't get off from it...and that I left disappointed last time. He assured me that wouldn't be the issue tonight. Told him I do want a copy of the vid, and that it makes me nervous, and he assured me it wasn't going anywhere. We agreed that any future vids or pics we may take will find their way to me immediately. And then, that out of the way...we watched the video.

It was rather hot to see me sucking cock. The way my mouth got concave...and the shots of his cock on my tits, jiggling them in the barely-there sports bra I was wearing...but I didn't like seeing so much flab. That wasn't fun. We watched a bit of it, then ff'd to the part where he came on my face and chest, and where I scooped up and licked clean what I could. He said he had watched the video, gotten off to the video, and wanted to make another, but I didn't feel like it tonight.

We went into the kitchen - I wanted a drink - and he pushed me up against the counter, started fucking against me from behind. Feeling that hard cock rubbing up against me...his hands on my tits...then pushing my head down, grabbing my hair...I was still in my work clothes, just a top and skirt today, and he started rubbing my legs, inching my skirt higher. We stayed like that for a few minutes, me wiggling my ass back into his cock, him humping me. Then he pulled his dining room chairs out of the way and put me face down on his table. It's a higher table than most dining room tables. He was behind me, still humping against me. He pulled one of my legs out, propped it up on a dining room chair, and went to work fingering me. Rubbing my clit, me face down, wimpering on his table. Then a finger inside me, and one still on my clit, until I came, dripping down my leg, begging him to stop. Quite nice.

After that I sucked him off, him sitting on his loveseat, holding my hair back as I knelt in front of him. I learned a few new things that he likes tonight (hard sucking of his balls; deep throating and then licking at the base). He started stroking, stood up above me. I had been talking to him, asking if he wanted me to swallow him, to tell me when he was close so I could taste him. I was running mu hands on his thighs, sometimes smacking his ass (which he liked), and I had my mouth on him. When he started cumming, I grabbed his ass tight. He shot a decent sized load, but it all went straight down my mouth. I thought I was going to gag for a minute, b/c I was on him so deep, but I managed to cum through like a champ. :)

So that's one last Monday, one tonight, and looks like one tomorrow...YAY!

Monday Night...Part 1

R: hey what are you up to?
Fan_of_Lust: just got home
Fan_of_Lust: you?
R: just got off work, getting ready to take the pooch for a walk
Fan_of_Lust: cool
Fan_of_Lust: beautiful out
R: you going to work out tonight?
Fan_of_Lust: no, the class is over
R: I see, so what ya gonna do? I am home bound since I am on call
Fan_of_Lust: i actually have no plans. i cleaned up a tiny bit last night, probably just run some errands
R: cool, what would you like to do tonight?
Fan_of_Lust: i want to drink
R: me?
Fan_of_Lust: naughty naughty!
R: could not resist
R: but you didnt say no ?
R: ?
Fan_of_Lust: no
Fan_of_Lust: i didn't
R: damn, just thinking about it is getting my cock hard :)
Fan_of_Lust: interesting
R: but I know I have to get somethings done, so I would not be able to play until after 8 or so
Fan_of_Lust: hmmm
R: I can get the movie camera out again if you like
Fan_of_Lust: bad!
R: get some diff angles this time :)
Fan_of_Lust: very bad!
R: and you are thinking about seeing your mouth all wet making my cock disappear on the big screen arent you
Fan_of_Lust: O:-)
R: or of having my hot cum spraying all over your face?
Fan_of_Lust: go get something done
Fan_of_Lust: maybe
Fan_of_Lust: MAYBE
Fan_of_Lust: you'll have a visitor tonight
R: I will stop jerking my cock now then, keep all that juice inside for you :)
Fan_of_Lust: nice
R: nice as in good or as in "OMG did he say that?"
Fan_of_Lust: lol a little of both
R: You said you wanted to be my "cock slut" is that not true?
Fan_of_Lust: depends what that entails
R: what do you want it to entail?
Fan_of_Lust: i'm not entirely sure
Fan_of_Lust: no humiliation
R: have I humiliated you?
Fan_of_Lust: no
Fan_of_Lust: but i am worried about the vid
R: what about it?
Fan_of_Lust: i don't really know you
R: Does that excite you a little though?
Fan_of_Lust: no
Fan_of_Lust: i don't want it on the net
R: It won't get there
Fan_of_Lust: good
R: so a MAYBE huh?
Fan_of_Lust: yep
Fan_of_Lust: :D
R: closer to a yes or a no?
Fan_of_Lust: straddling the fence
R: wanna straddle my cock?
Fan_of_Lust: i do
Fan_of_Lust: but i don't know that i will
R: ok, well its up to you
Fan_of_Lust: if i stop by tonight, we'll talk about it
R: um ok, but I guess I am a little confused right now then?
Fan_of_Lust: why?
Fan_of_Lust: about what?
R: I mean, this is casual right?
Fan_of_Lust: yeah
R: ok, no expectations, I didnt lead you on did I?
Fan_of_Lust: well, no, but we also never talked about it
R: talked about it how?
Fan_of_Lust: expectations
Fan_of_Lust: what you're looking for, what i'm looking for
R: Well I will be honest, I dont want anything beyond this
R: having fun, etc
Fan_of_Lust: that's fair
R: what about you?
R: do you like "having fun"
Fan_of_Lust: i'd prefer a relationship, but in absence of that, yeah, i like playing
Fan_of_Lust: but i don't usually have casual sex
R: do you want to have sex with me?
R: or do you just want to suck my cock?
R: I mean, its up to you, if you need a good fucking, I am all ready for it :)
R: ok, I need to go take the pup for a walk, so I will check in with you later
Fan_of_Lust: k
R: when you coming over?
Fan_of_Lust: if i do
Fan_of_Lust: it will be around 8ish, i guess
R: your coming, arent you :)
Fan_of_Lust: wait and see
R: well call and let me know, I mean, I might be running doing laundry or running an errand to Target or something
Fan_of_Lust: k
R: bye
-----
Oh yes, I will be going over there, and I will be cumming, and I will be tasting him.

Sunday Night

I went to bed early Friday night - was beat for no good reason. Shortly after 2am, the phone rings, and it's R - the video guy. Yes, folks, that was my first booty call since I was about 21. And I turned him down.

Because I don't have the video, I didn't feel comfortable totally calling him out on being an ass - you can't just ignore me for 2 weeks and then expect me to let you cum over and 'bend me over the couch.' He was noticeably surprised that I refused.

He did IM me today to apologize for being 'out of line.' Snicker. And while I had him on the phone, I asked about the video. He said it was huge and he hadn't even put it on his computer yet, so that's good news...I guess.

Saturday was a friend's party out an hour or so away, and that was fun. Didn't get crazy, but was fun seeing a few old friends. I looked good, too. ;)

Saturday, before the party, I had another 2+ hour bout of phone sex with L. He's a dirty, dirty man and would completely own me if I let him. Not in that dom-sub way - although he is a bit dom, and I've found I am a bit sub when I'm with him - but in that 'I adore you-would do anything for you-I crave you' kind of way. It's frightening.

And today...today, in my normal 'show me the goodies' online playtime...I sent some naughty pics to a guy in my locale. And then I did what I never, ever do - I sent him a face pic.

He was kind enough to tell me he went to my college and knows who I am.

FUCK!

This, of course, was after we talked about meeting so I could suck him off. However...he did send me some naughty pics too, and says he won't tell. It's rather exciting that he sort of knows me. I've seen his face pic and have no idea who he is, and yet he sounds like exactly what I like in bed. I have the feeling we'll meet up at some point...And then, maybe FINALLY, I'll have some action to write about!

Why Ask Why, and Weekend Plans

Several men, upon hearing of my interest in glory holes, have cautioned me to 'be careful.' They say I can 'catch something' there.

Well, yes, I could.

But couldn't I also catch something from meeting a guy at a bar and sucking his cock? No one thinks there's anything wrong with that behavior.

Is it because the class of men who visit glory holes is 'dirtier' than normal guys, scamming for chics at bars? I'm not entirely sure I believe that.

I like the risky nature of it. It doesn't mean I'll suck off anything that presents itself to me.

It's been a few weeks since I've heard from the guy who wants to take me, though, so there are no immediate plans for that activity. Tonight might bring a new man into my mouth, one I've talked with for some time time online. I'd go to his house, which is risky, but I'm okay with that in this regard.

Yes, I may sound stupid and naive, but I'm not. Honest.

He interests me, and it all depends on whether I'll feel willing to get slutted up and drive out to see him (he's about 35 minutes away, I think). A lot of times I have the desire but not the motivation. Guess we'll see if he's around...we know he'll be willing. ;)

Then, tomorrow night I have a birthday party to go to. It's casual, and for a gay friend, so I'm not sure what to wear. Nothing too over the top, but nothing too sheltered, either. Right now, I'm thinking of a short, ruffled jean skirt I have and either a lightweight pink top or a pink tank top. Guess you'll have to wait and see...

What will YOU be doing this weekend?

Hump Day

I had amazing phone sex last night with a new online friend. We've only 'known' each other for a few days, but something immediately clicked. From our first online conversation, he wanted my number, but I wasn't ready for it.

Last night, I was, but I'm not sure what got me there.

We started out with a good conversation about sexual behaviors. Likes, dislikes, fantasies. Gender differences, societal pressures, how much we each masturbate.

He's...fun. He makes me laugh. He laughs at me. He's not afraid to tell me he likes me. He's smart and interesting and charming and lets me call him on shit, while he calls me out, too. There's this amazing chemistry, this ability to talk and discuss and laugh and learn and be real, and though it's crazy, I already believe him when he says he doesn't want to hurt me, that he cares.

And of course, he's not local. The good ones never are.

I don't normally like phone sex. I feel...pressured. I feel fake and phony, which might have something to do with the fact that I generally fake my climax. I've loved phone sex with bfs before, where we talk about what we'd do if we were together, what we liked about the last time we were together, things that I know can or have cum to fruition. But phone sex with a random stranger rarely turns me on.

Last night, though...whoa. That's the first time I've ever cum so hard I've cried. He pushed my limits, he made me push them. And while I'm very much not a submissive girl...I wanted to please him. I did what he told me to do. I liked it, I liked his demands, I liked his encouragement, I liked all of it.

And I came so incredibely, unbelievably, much. Gushed. Squirted. Drenched. Dripped.

It was a two hour, very charged, very erotic, conversation (not just the sex part, the whole conversation).

So what's the problem?

I could get hooked. He's charming. He's the perfect mix of good boy/bad boy. He's not afraid to say he likes me.

I've been here before, figuratively. I've gotten 'involved' with online men; some I've met, some I haven't. Almost all of them could pass me on the street and I wouldn't know it. Almost all of them have cut ties completely with me; I'd be egotistical to even think that they remember me, that they devote any thoughts to me.

This guy, L...he reminds me of a prior flame, JS, a man slightly older, slightly more worldy and experienced than I was at age 23. A man who taught me things, and respected me, and tried not to hurt me even as he was purposely doing it. And I loved JS, and I craved him, and I still think of him. And I'm worried about getting hooked again, I'm worried about falling for someone I can't have, I'm worried about never finding someone local.

I'm worried that since I've experienced a few rare, special, phenomenal men, and been shown a glimpse of what sex and relationships can and should be...that I'm ruined for everyone else.

Just My Luck!

Tonight's man, K, just emailed. His company has been pulling him out of his training class all day and want him to come home.

DAMN! I'm feeling sexy, I'm freshly shaved, I'm oh-so-ready...and nothing.

Damn, damn, damn.

One Down...

Had a nice dinner with J last night. Casual conversation, laughter, good food. Afterwards, I went up to his hotel room - it was still early. No touching, nothing sexual.

I turned on the TV, was watching it from the bed. He was putzing around with his computer for a bit, the two of us kibitizing together. He turned on the A/C, which of course drove me under the covers. I had felt the energy again between us, the sexual tension, and had wondered if he did. He had lay on the bed with me a few times, each time a little bit closer to me, but still no touching.

Once I was under the covers, he came over and asked what I was doing under there. He sidled up next to me, slid his hand over my breast, and we started kissing. I felt he gave me a lot of attention - sucking on my earlobe, kissing my neck, both things that make me melt. A lot of deep tongue kissing, a lot of sucking on and tonguing my hard nipples. Yep, soon enough, I was topless.

Still clothed, he put me on top and kept on with the nipple tugging. He started talking nasty "You want cock, don't you? You want to be fucked, you need it." I wholeheartedly agreed, but...the timing was an issue.

Well, we wasn't to be dissuaded. While I sucked on his very nice, cut cock, his hips pushing up to meet me, his hands doing a good job of holding my hair out of my way, he continued to say dirty things.

"I can fuck you in the ass. I know you want it. Tell me you do. I'll ass fuck you, so good."

Wow. Didn't expect that. Was...tempted, actually. I've liked anal in the past, though I've only done it with one man, and it was several years ago. But...okay.

I told him I didn't think he'd fit, he's too thick, and we didn't have lube, but he said he'd go easy and when I said no, he'd stop.

So there I am, doggy style, legs spread wide, ass high, and this thick, yummy cock is pushing for my ass. God I wanted it. I was whimpering, I wanted it so badly, but...

I was too tight. I wouldn't loosen up enough to even let him in. I was so disappointed! And he only brought one condom, too, so that was pretty much that.

I did suck him off, though, and swallowed a big load of protein.

And minutes after I got home, tonight's man, K, called...

Hmmmm

Tonight I'm having dinner with the last man I slept with. We're just friends now, and he lives out of state, but he travels into my area quite a bit for his job, and we try to get together when he's here. Last time, I felt a definite sexual energy between us, but nothing happened. Circumstances around how we met and how we left things were very...icky, and I didn't want to mess up the calm water.

Tonight, though, maybe we'll see.

If nothing cums from it tonight, tomorrow is almost a guarantee. K is a man I met a few years ago through a mutual friend. We immediately hit it off and his cock was in my mouth that same night. K was never excellent in bed or with foreplay, but he was always willing to push things a bit and play, and I have reason to believe his gf has taught him a thing or two. He's felt me up in a bar, in my apt complex's pool, he's gotten road head from me, he's fingered me while I've been on the phone to my mom, and he's fucked me while others slept in the room.

For the past couple years, K has been living with a girl. Apparently it's a good thing; he won't let me meet her. Once they got serious, I refused all advances from him. He lives about 90 minutes from me, and emails now and again. Sometimes we get quite teasy and flirty with our emails, remembering - in covert terms, so we pass our employer's censors - the fun we've had. Fairly recently, we emailed about him lying to the gf, leaving work, driving down, shagging me, and then driving home - but guilt got the best of me. It just seemed like too elaborate a plan. But this...this is just old friends getting together, right?

He just emailed and is staying in a hotel about 30 minutes from me, tonight and tomorrow. Since tonight's out of the question, tomorrow it will be. We've already agreed on dinner and drinking...and he knows what I'm like after a few drinks...and if I drink too much I'll have to stay...

I'll have to start thinking of outfits to wear. Not sure if I'll head down immediately after work or not. Hmmm....possibilities are exciting!

Pissed

Sorry to disappoint, but this isn't a golden shower post.

I STILL can't get R to send me the goddamn video! I've emailed him twice in the past week, each time short bullshit emails: Hey, how are you? Busy week? Send me the vid, please.

Or something close to that. Each time I got no response at all from him.

Then, tonight, after seeing him online a few times and not getting any messages from him, I IM'd him.

FoL: Hey, how are you?
R: Hey, just a sec
(Minutes pass, then R logs off)

WHAT THE FUCK?

It's not as if I'm asking for the entire video, I just want it emailed to me. He can still keep the fucking thing, just give me a goddamn copy!

I don't know how to get it from him. Anyone know any good intimidators that can go to his house with me???

I know his first, middle, last name, where he lives, and where he works. There has to be a way to scare him into giving me the goddamn video.

Any thoughts????

Relief

The first time R and I got together, he came on my tits and I rubbed it in, licking my fingers clean.

After that, I stupidly began fingering myself - with the same fingers.

I've been off the pill for a while, and not with many guys since I went off of it. I guess I was still in the mindset that it didn't matter if cum got into my pussy.

About 2 days after that incident, I woke up, suddenly, realizing what that could mean. It just hadn't occurred to me earlier.

I've also been on some female-hormone pills for the past year or so, and this is the first month in many that I haven't taken them (thanks to a badly filled prescription and a doctor I'm no longer seeing). I've been worried about what that would do to my cycle.

So imagine my relief early this week when my stomach started cramping. All the signs were there - increased horniness, followed by a decrease in libido a few days later (as in, yesterday). Skin problems.

But..nothing. I've been waiting and waiting and getting more and more anxious. Finally, today, something happened.

The bad news means my glory hole and other fun will have to wait. But I'm definitely okay with that, in lieu of what could have happened.

Almost the Weekend!

I am hoping my plans solidify for Friday night. If they do, I will be going to a local adult bookstore to try my hand, so to speak, at some glory hole fun. I'm very excited at the thought of sucking off lots of guys, sucking off strangers, perhaps trying some black meat...and basically being a slut. I know more or less what I'll wear - hair in a ponytail, short black skirt with slits up the sides - nothing fancy, just a cheapy - and either the shirt you can see to the right, that obviously allows for some public views, or a very thin, white, button-down shirt. The only problem with that shirt is that I think the cum stains would look better on the red...

You might be thinking that girls don't really want to suck off strangers...that no one actually does that...that it's a bit over the top. And you might be right. But I'm not here to be judged, and the thought of being so slutty turns me on. I like the idea of pleasuring strangers, older men, married men, and them not seeing me. Now, I'm sure there could be some skanky cocks in there, but I don't have to suck anyone I don't want to. I'm VERY excited at the prospect of this adventure.
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If Friday's plans don't cum together, I may be meeting a new online guy for some sucking. We've talked for a while: he's local, single, about my age, and just wants a bj. I'm dying to get myself near a cock, so I figured why not? Plus, he said he'll finger me in exchange, which I desperately need!
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I did some online shopping last night. Ordered a corset, but it's not the whale-bone kind you might be thinking of. The one I ordered was black, with a tiny bow and a bit of lace on the front. Honestly, it looked more like a tube top than a corset to me, but maybe that was just the pic. At any rate, it will show off fantastic cleavage, not be worn with a bra, and should very nicely outline my breasts. The back had a pink ribbon lace-up, too, that looked nice. Can't wait to try it!

I also ordered two new bathing suits last night. Nothing outrageous, just a blank tankini and a green one. Both with normal straps, vneck. We'll see if I like them or not.

I could have gone completely nuts ordering slutty clothes last night - and I wanted to! - but I do have a budget to maintain and besides, when it cums right down to it, I think I'd chicken out from wearing anything completely trashy in public.
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Yesterday I had an appt after work. I came home for about 20 minutes in between, and while I was getting out of my car I had a thought. It was super windy yesterday, and I was in a skirt. So before my appt, I took off my undies. Of course, my skirt was too heavy to be easily twirled about...and I never seemed to pull up to anyone who would have enjoyed the view.

It's like a conspiracy - no one wants me to be a slut!

I feel very sexy today. Maybe it's because I'm wearing a tight sweater set; maybe it's due to the sexy heels I have on, only the second day this year that I'm in a skirt without nylons. Maybe it's because it's so cold in this building I think I'm nipping out for all to see.

I have an eye doctor appt after work, and while I would never play there...how can I take advantage of this sexy feeling today?

Monday

Just as horny and unfulfulled as ever. Didn't find anyone to play with Friday, and the rest of the weekend was spent under parental care, so....

I've asked R for the video and haven't received it yet. Am mildly annoyed by that. Although, sending me a copy doesn't mean anything. When I asked him what he was going to do with it, he said keep it for his private collection, and I think I trust him, despite barely knowing him. Shrug. A bit too late to worry about that now, isn't it?

Although I am debating - if I see him again - getting him to take pics with MY camera. Guess we'll have to see how much of a jerk he is.

Yeah, I'm not making any wagers!

TGIF

Despite the carpal tunnel in my wrists that's developing from too much masturbation, all I want to do is go home, get naked, send out pictures to men online, and make myself cum.

It's my new favorite thing - taking tit shots, pussy shots, maybe even vibrator-in-pussy shots, and emailing them to men who ask for them. And with the beauty of online chat rooms, lots of men are around to ask.

It makes me feel so slutty to know that strangers, married men, older men, are looking at me that way. That they're getting turned on by me, getting hard by what I show them, and in some cases, even cumming all over my pictures.

It's incredibly hot, and most likely incredibly twisted. Is it? Is it hurting anyone? Do I care?

I never took pictures before a few weeks ago, and then I only sent out the tit shots. Like everything else, though, the more you do it, the more blase you become - hence the numbers of strangers who have seen my juicy, glistening pussy.

I'm also very tempted to take things to the next level, whatever that means. Whether that's getting together with a very sexy guy I've 'met' online for some fun, or letting another online man teach me what good cunninglingus is, or getting together with the online guy I've played with twice before, or even meeting the one particular man who I met online, played with in person, for some glory hole debauchery....

I've had many opportunities to expand my boundaries, to try new things, and I've resisted most of them out of fear. Right now, I'm willing (and eager!) to test my limits...but I'm worried that perhaps I won't feel that way later tonight, when I'm alone, and able to dress in trashy clothes and make some fantasies realities.

Baby steps aren't a bad thing, I suppose.

Classic

So the guy from the first post, R, is online now. We met online. He buzzed me, said he had some things to take care of online but wanted to say hi. Great. He has a busy week coming up, I'm aware of that.

So why do I see him in a Thirties Love chat room??????

Asshole. Not to mention, he's totally blocking me from being in the chat rooms I want to be in, b/c I don't want him to know which rooms I frequent.

Gah.

What to Do

Spring time is definitely in the air, and with it comes a mad desire to get fucked. Unfortunately for me, perhaps, I'm not a fan of casual sex. Never had a one night stand; really want to, but can't seem to break through the barrier that I was raised with - sex is not casual! sex should be with someone you love!

Which isn't to say that I've only slept with guys I've loved. Two of the guys, I loved, though I know I didn't when we first started sleeping together. The others, well...it was still fun!

Now, as far as blowjobs go...I'm the Queen of casual ones. That's certainly helped by the phase when I got into meeting men from online to suck them off. Older men, married men...we'd meet at night, or at dusk, go park somewhere...in their car, my tits out, their cock in my mouth...rubbing their cum on my tits if they shot it there...yeah, how hot was that?

I like the power, I like knowing they're attracted to me, I like the sluttiness of it all. And to me, it's a way to continue to unleash my sex drive while still not breaking any of my rules.

Lately, though, I've been wanting to break my rules. More on that later, though.

Another First

Last night I went to R's house. This was our second meeting and I knew - based on our first meeting and the IM conversation we had prior - that there would be some action. I was also fairly sure he would want to take some pictures of me sucking his cock, and I was very intrigued by that.

When I got there, he was hard and ready to go. He showed me that his digital camera was set up to record - and display the images on his massive 5' TV screen.

So yes, I sucked his cock while he filmed it. I also let him cum on my face, a naughty treat that makes me feel slutty - in a good way - while he filmed it.

My tits looked enormous on screen. But then, so did my flab. It was still fairly hot.

The rest of the night tanked, however. I only got off once - and then by rubbing my pant-covered cunt across his knee. My pants were pulling tighter against my crotch, and he would thrust his leg up. We were making out, he was kissing and sucking on my neck and ear. Very hot, and when I came, I gushed - wetting his pant leg and the crotch of my own.

However, that was the only time I got off by him last night. I did suck him off a second time and swallowed - quite a big load, too. He said it was 'very good' and was quite spent by it. I do like to do a good job.

I was ready to get off again but he said there wasn't time, or some other lame excuse.

Not sure if I'll see him again.

Ah hell, who am I kidding?