Have No Fear

Folks, I deleted my email account due to some info I couldn't figure out how to change. I'd like to keep the same ID, but as it's currently unavailable until they purge me from their database, I will be email-less for a while. If you wanna ask me something, use the comment forum, please!

Also, I'm not quite sure why I have been behaving lately. I've had some offers...and I get horny...but no one really interests me enough to meet. There may be one guy tomorrow, but he's chickened out before, so I don't have high hopes.

I don't know what's going on - I still have the urges, just not enough to do something about it, I guess. I'm hoping it's just a phase. :)

Now, go out there and misbehave!

Change of Heart

I think I've rethunk my desire to suck off B and his friends. He's quite an...ass.

I'm not sure how much that should come into play or not. But the more we talk, the more I don't like how I think he thinks of women.

He tells me he'd of course be nice to me that night, because he wants to keep me coming back, and he's nice to "all his girls." I don't want to be part of a harem!

He also tells me he'd pimp me out. He wouldn't let me charge his friends, but he'd pimp me out to others. I don't want to have a pimp!

I'm not explaining this well. But he sort of disgusts me. I don't know how to explain it better; maybe I just need to copy one of our conversations.

Disappointing, but...almost not.

Tough Questions

Not too long ago, someone wrote and asked me how I would reconcile being the slut I want to be with the long term relationship I want. If I were to start dating someone seriously, would I stop my extra-curricular adventures? Would I get enough from the relationship to tide my sexual needs over?

If I were dating someone seriously, I would not cheat on them. I've cheated before with little remorse; I don't think I've ever been cheated on. But I'm at the point now where I refuse to intentionally cause harm to someone I care about. How many cheaters are found out? Most of them. Besides not wanting to hurt someone I care about, I've also vowed that if I find a good, longterm relationship, I would not dare to fuck it up that way.

I'd hope that anything I got into would provide me some sexual outlets. I don't need multiple cocks, but I need multiple fun, if that makes sense. As long as he allowed me easy access to his cock, and was willing to mix things up a bit, I'd have no problems cutting myself off from other cock. Again, it goes back to not wanting to jeopardize the relationship for something that is ultimately so trivial.

Ideally, I think, I'd find a relationship with a man who didn't mind sharing me now and then. Who didn't mind or feel threatened by my desire for public fun, stranger fun, dirty nasty group fun. Perhaps he'd even allow me to indulge now and again.

I know I wouldn't be forthcoming with my desires; it's not something a lot of people know about me. And if I did express them and found him not willing to play along, again, that would be just fine by me.

I'm not as worried about finding someone who will let me be a slut as I am about finding someone, period.

Hello!

Told you I'd be back! Let's see what the updates are for you...

I talked to B online tonight and asked him if he and his friends would mind if I brought a guy friend with to chaperone. He was all for it - very enthusiastic, in fact:

FoL: would you mind if i had a guy friend with me to make sure everything's cool?
B: not at all...
B: would he get head
FoL: yes
B: maybe he would blow us too...lol
FoL: he would take pics too if that's cool
FoL: he would
FoL: or at least jack you off
B: hes a freak huh ?
B: tell him about my cock ?
FoL: told him it is fat
B: id want him to lick my balls
FoL: he might
B: you could share my cum

So that's looking promising! I'd feel much better about things if A were there with me, because I know he wants me to be safe. I don't know if I'd want him to suck them off, though - that might be just for me. He could jack them off, though, I wouldn't mind that...especially if he aimed for me!

I'll probably meet B some time next week, just the two of us.

There's also...V, I'll call him, from online. We talk most every night. He's a big slut - 4 new pussies a week isn't unusual for him - and he will be cumming to town for some training in July. I told him tonight that I'd meet him but reiterated that I wouldn't fuck.

Apparently every time I've told him before that I don't do casual sex, he's thought I was joking. He was a bit disappointed tonight when I convinced him I wasn't, but we'd still meet for a drink or two and some play time. He's actually about 2yrs younger than I am - where generally I like older men, if even slightly older - and very cute, from what I've seen, where again I usually meet slightly average guys, if not below average.

Would I want to fuck him? Hell yeah! But I wouldn't, mainly because he is such a slut. I don't want to be just another conquest.

I'm looking forward to meeting him, though, just b/c he always seems so into me, thinks I'm very sexy (at least from the pictures, lol!), and also seems cute. I'm looking forward to talking more with A, and to sucking B off next week, and to sucking off his friends with A by my side.

Yay!

Remember Me?

Yeah, I've been neglecting this blog. No new tales to tell, and the serious questions take too much effort to think through.

I just got off the phone with A, and we've made some tentative plans for the future. They include a nude beach (one of my fantasies), possibly accompanying me to another of the group parties like I went to at the end of April, and some possible play time in the future.

He's all for me sucking B's friends off, too - surprise, surprise. :) I only wish that he were either local or my slut-endorsing bf, so he could cum with to my adventures and make sure things stay kosher.

There have been a few new local guys wanting to meet, but it all seems like so much effort. I love the idea of it. I love the sluttiness of it. But actually getting ready to do it, or meeting and not liking the guy at all, or going through the nervousness of another new guy...it's all so tiring.

More later. I promise!

TGIF

Sorry guys, nothing new to share. I've been fighting the cold of death all week, and it's been storming at night, so I haven't been out and about at all.

I'm still debating whether I should suck off B and his friends, but I'll admit that I drift off to sleep every night, picturing how the scene would play out.

I don't know if I should meet B again first, alone, to get a better feel for him (no pun intended!) or if I should just go for it. If there were another of the group parties cumming up, that I went to before, I would ask him to cum with me...but the parties are the last Friday of the month, I believe, so it's a long ways away!

I think I'm partly tempted to suck his friends off because I would love to have pictures of me covered in cum!

Otherwise, there aren't really any new men in the picture. I've conversed with a couple online who wanted to meet, but I wasn't into them for one reason or another.

I'm debating hitting a local bar tonight, seeing what I can find there. I dunno. I'm sure I will be ready for bed by the time it's bar time! My dad may be visiting tomorrow, so I will need to do some cleaning before then.

Have a good weekend everyone!