Breakdown
Tonight's apparently the night when I start questioning my slutty acts and wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. I want so much more than to just be a cocksucker, I want so much more than to just be liked because I'll drop to my knees.
I've been showing in a lot of online chat rooms lately and I love it, I get off on it, on knowing I'm being so naughty and showing perfect strangers my tits, my pussy, my pleasure. It's so wrong, though. Isn't it?
I tried to get some Friday night from a stranger. Saturday I made plans to meet another stranger, but he cancelled at the last minute. Sunday I was supposed to meet R again. All of this is fun at the time, but I leave unfulfilled, even though there's a load of protein inside me.
I don't know how to balance finding/keeping a 'real' relationship with being slutty, with loving sex. I've never dated men I could open up to about it, and I've never dated men who truly satisfied me sexually. I've always wanted more than I got (sexually) and now I want more than I'm finding.
It's so easy to stay at home and get myself off with random, far away men online. It's SO easy, and it's fun and exciting and thrilling. But it's harder to step away and search out something real, something more than just being on my knees.
My birthday is coming up, and I already know how I'll spend it. Naked and online and being the slutty young girl that so many men fantasize about.
I just wish I could find someone to help fulfill my fantasy.
I've been showing in a lot of online chat rooms lately and I love it, I get off on it, on knowing I'm being so naughty and showing perfect strangers my tits, my pussy, my pleasure. It's so wrong, though. Isn't it?
I tried to get some Friday night from a stranger. Saturday I made plans to meet another stranger, but he cancelled at the last minute. Sunday I was supposed to meet R again. All of this is fun at the time, but I leave unfulfilled, even though there's a load of protein inside me.
I don't know how to balance finding/keeping a 'real' relationship with being slutty, with loving sex. I've never dated men I could open up to about it, and I've never dated men who truly satisfied me sexually. I've always wanted more than I got (sexually) and now I want more than I'm finding.
It's so easy to stay at home and get myself off with random, far away men online. It's SO easy, and it's fun and exciting and thrilling. But it's harder to step away and search out something real, something more than just being on my knees.
My birthday is coming up, and I already know how I'll spend it. Naked and online and being the slutty young girl that so many men fantasize about.
I just wish I could find someone to help fulfill my fantasy.
posted by Fan of Lust at 9:44 PM
1 Comments:
No it’s not wrong. So many people keep their feelings, especially sexual, buried deep. As one who did, I went a little crazy when I started blogging and let them out. I have found a good balance but think it is important to explore. Try things, make adjustments, and enjoy like minded people. We all search for the right person. Some find it, some settle. Maybe the perfect person does not exist. Focus on what you really want in a relationship, let that come out to a select few, and have some fun along the way.
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