Fan_of_Lust

News

2007-07-19T21:45:00.000-05:00

Yes, I've been absent for a while.

Yes, I've been getting action.

Yes, it's been fantasticly good, mind blowing, potentially life altering action.

Yes, I'm dating someone exclusively.

Yes, I'm falling in love.

No, you don't get any more details than that!

Five Condoms, 1 Fuck

2007-05-21T23:28:00.000-05:00

If you've read the last post - and I know you have - you already know that I fooled around with a guy named Travis and had plans to see him again this past weekend.

We saw each other Friday and talked a little, but of nothing of great regard. Saturday was the wedding, and we exchanged some small talk prior to the ceremony. I started on the beer immediately after the ceremony, and managed to talk with Travis, standing next to him, my leg and body covertly pressed up against his, while we conversed with his dad. Again, though, nothing of importance was discussed.

Once at the reception, I again hit the bar. At some point, we went outside the hotel to smoke, and I rubbed up against him then. We kissed and fondled each other a bit before breaking apart, barely in time to escape being caught by his family. I knew then that it would be on with us that night.

Later in the night, we escaped to his hotel room for a smoke, which turned into barely half a cigarette between us and some more kissing and fondling. I asked him if he was going to fuck me that night, and he agreed, as we all knew he would. I straddled him on the bed and let him finger me until I came, wetting the bedspread and the back of my dress before we had to get back to the reception.

Later, it was so exciting sitting next to him in the bar, talking across the table with his mom, as his hand rubbed and caressed my leg. I loved the excitement, the danger, his touch. As the bar closed down, we made our plans, and he gave me a room key and told me to let myself in when the coast was clear.

I went back to my room and changed into my pajamas - a tank top and sweat pants, nothing very classy - and walked back to his room. He wasn't there yet, and I let myself in and lit up.

He came in mere minutes later, and let me know he had a few more things to do before we could get it on. He told me to make myself at home and he'd come for me soon.

I was near asleep, on my stomach, when he did come back. I peeled myself up from the bed as he stood behind me and ran his hands all over me. When I couldn't take it anymore, I turned to him and we began kissing.

His hands pulled my tank top off of me, and before he could start, I began taking his tux off. His cock, partially hard, peeked through the hole in his boxers, and the surprise tattoo on his arm only confirmed his sexiness.

He lay me back on the bed and climbed on top of me, kissing me passionately. He moved down to kiss my breasts and suck on them before tugging my pants off me, with his boxers following.

He climbed back on me, my legs spread around him, and began rubbing against my naked body. His fingers found my pussy and very quickly got me off, his words promising more of that throughout the night.

I sucked on his cock quite a bit, and when stroking him, was told to get 'rough' with it. When I told him I didn't want to hurt it, he told me I wouldn't, and showed me how he liked to be touched. I'm a good learner, and loved hearing his moans and seeing his body twitch. He never came in my mouth, however, as he had been drinking quite a bit for some time, and had problems getting and staying completely hard.

While I was disappointed with this, it also meant that he focused quite a bit on me, and got me off several times. Once he had a finger in my ass, fingers in my pussy, his tongue touching my clit, my legs in the air and around him, my head back, my mouth screaming 'FUCK' quite loudly while I squirted all over him.

I made him quit touching me after that, and we cuddled for a bit, his hands continuously stroking me, his mouth and tongue licking and keeping me turned on. He told me repeatedly how much he liked pleasing me, how he could do it all night, how he was just getting started with me, how easily I got off, how much he wanted to be deep inside me.

Much of the night is a blur, due both to the amount I drank beforehand, as well as the amount of time we spent fooling around. He got me of multiple times, causing several wet spots to drench the bed. We tried four times during the night and morning to fuck, including different positions and an attempt at anal, but the aforementioned problems he had only caused us to run through condoms. We were both disappointed, but as I said, I got off several times under his touch as a reward.

We finally gave up our fucking attempts for good around 6am and fell asleep. I woke up around 8:30, and my waking woke him. I realized his hard cock was poking my ass and began wiggling against it. He flipped me over and began teasing my clit with it. He grabbed the last condom and I helped slide it on him, pleased to find that his hard cock was much firmer and bigger than it ever had been during the night.

He slid his cock into me, missionary style, and I gasped as he filled me. My legs wrapped around him and I pulled him in deeper, loving how he felt. His arms supported him above me, and I urged him on, hearing him groan as he fucked me hard. I told him how good he felt as I squeezed his biceps and bit his neck, and we kissed often, passionate short kisses as he rutted against me.

He groaned once, long and loud, when he finally came, needing that release after our hours of foreplay.

I had to leave not long after that, and thanked him for the fun evening. He thanked me as well for the fun and told me I owed him about 15 such releases in exchange for all I got the night before.

I found bruises on my upper arm later that morning, and though I have no way of contacting him, I'm reasonably sure he's carrying some sex marks of his own. All in all, a pretty decent time.

Still Here

2006-12-20T15:13:00.000-06:00

Hard to believe it's been 2months since I've last gotten any. I'm coming off of a hellish month at the office, and haven't had any energy (not to mention free time) to devote to men.

Not to mention, I've become very disenchanted with that gender. They seem to be full of disappointment and lies, wherever I turn.

So, I'm masturbating furiously, of course, and hoping I snap out of this funk.

Happy Holidays, folks. Maybe the new year will bring me some much needed cock!

Porn!

2006-10-15T21:35:00.000-05:00

I hopped online Saturday night and received a message from A, asking me what I was doing that night. He was up for some play, so we agreed we'd meet at a halfway point in between us - and visit some local porn shops. I quickly showered, fixing up the shave job from the night before, threw on some casual clothes (jeans, thinnish shirt, no bra), and got on the road!

We were hoping to play in some booths, but at the first shop, the 'booths' were really just open stalls: a TV, a chair, and no door. That wasn't going to fly! We looked at the toys for a bit, as I'm in need of a new vibrator, and looked at the videos a bit, scoping the place out. There were maybe half a dozen guys in and out of the place, and while A said they were looking at me, I barely gave them a glance.

At one point, after courteously asking me first, A ducked into the bathroom at the porn shop, leaving me alone with the random guys. While that made me nervous, I was also excited to think that a stranger might come up to me and start touching me.

A and I have talked often before about me sucking through glory holes and while the idea gets me very hot, he is very concerned about the, er, quality of men who might be there. If actually faced with the situation, I'm not sure whether I would take the plunge or not, but I didn't have to deal with that last night.

When we learned the place was closing shortly for the night, we went across the street to a 24hour place. This was much brighter, much cleaner of an establishment. Again, we looked at some of their toys, though there selection paled compared to the first locale. We made fun of some of the videos that looked like they were the 1973 edition, and we checked out the booths. Here, they had doors on them, but we weren't sure if they were meant for only one person or not.

I was pretty hot at that point - I always find A incredibly sexy - and we left, intent on finding a place to pull over and play. We were barely out of the parking lot before my jeans were unzipped and pulled down, and A's fingers were in my slit.

This was the first time I had let A touch me, and I was already very wet for him. We pulled up alongside a trucker, and A turned the dome light on, giving some lucky guy a good view of a horny slut who was enjoying a man's fingers inside her.

A brought me to orgasm, and began stroking his cock. I reached over to help and to keep his balls from being neglected, and when he got closer to cumming, he asked where I wanted his cum, and he pulled over so I could put my mouth on it.

He continued to jerk his cock, with my mouth right over the head, calling me a dirty slut for loving his cum so much. When he came, my mouth sucked him dry and swallowed it down.

A drove me back to my car and kissed me before I left. While the porn shops were a bit anti-climatic, A and I still managed to enjoy ourselves.

Mmm, Cock

2006-10-14T12:43:00.000-05:00

I sucked cock last night in a parked car. This was preceded by a couple of beers, a few various bars, my first strip club!, some excellent kissing, and some tit sucking.

I almost laughed while sucking cock - it's been years since I had sucked this particular one. About 10 years, to be precise. He was silent throughout, which I don't prefer, but he was gentlemanly enough to let me know when he was going to cum.

Not that that made me pull my mouth off of his rod at all...I swallowed all of his cum down like good bad girls do.

The strip club was sort of sleazy - small and trashy. The girls were okay - one was pretty cute, the others weren't that great. The guys looked completely unrespectable. My guy and I sat back, thighs and arms touching, and watched the action together. He tipped one, sliding the bill between her breasts while she squeezed them together to hold onto the money.

We were only there a short time, maybe 30 min, before he said we should leave after our beers were done. I teased him, wondering if the action was too much for him to take, and he smiled, agreeing that there was a lot of visual stimuli.

When we got back into his car, I begged him to crank the heat, as I was cold without a coat. He leaned over while fastening his seat belt to stare at my left breast, the one closest to him.

"You're not nipping out," he said. I ran my fingers over my nipple to find that I was, actually, and I told him so. His fingers soon replaced mine, finding the hard nub. "Oh, there it is" he murmured, giving it a quick tug.

His mouth found mine, and soon his hand slid into my low cut shirt, cupping my breast. Together, we pushed my bra out of the way and bared my tits. His mouth suckled on a hard nipple, my lips sucking on his ear, while he milked me with his tongue and teeth. He paid attention to the other breast as well, sucking hard on it. leaving teeth marks I'm still viewing today.

I'll be seeing him again, I just don't know when. It won't be soon enough, certainly.

2006-10-05T20:43:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know, it's been forever. And no, I actually haven't gotten any in the past month. I wish I could say I met a fabulous man who's kept me tied up, literally and figuratively, but...I haven't lied to you before and I won't start now!

There is a man, though, who hasn't left my head for the past week...

I wrote before about F, my first blow job. Well, I saw him last weekend. Immediately, there was a connection again. He's now divorced, and we spent most of the night talking and flirting with each other.

He checked out me out at one point, telling me I looked good and that it was a good thing I still had my ass. He slid in between my legs at a booth in the bar, wrapping one leg across his lap so that he could stroke it under the table. He nestled in between my arms and my chest and gave me all his attention.

He walked me to my car, and told me how comfortable he always feels with me, how he's always been interested and attracted but was married before, then recouping from that ending, and we live in different towns, but if the pieces fit, and he thinks they do...

Wow. That all took me by surprise. He has some events in the somewhat near future that he'd like me to accompany him to, and I agreed, and then, speech concluded...he kissed me.

I haven't been kissed like that in ages. Kisses that made my stomach weak, introduced butterflies to it, kisses that made me moan into his open mouth. His hands were in my hair, and it's a good thing, because I don't know that I could have continued standing without help.

I managed to gain enough sense to finally pull away, and as it was quite late and I was staying with people who were expecting me back, I refused the offer to go to his place. I laughed when he suggested we drive in my car somewhere, as I learned (as you have) that my small car is not very conducive to playing.

We've emailed a bit this week, and I'm thinking of driving to his down (an hour away) next Friday to surprise him at an event. I just...I can't get those kisses out of my head, and it's driving me nuts.

Men. Sigh!

2006-09-12T17:27:00.000-05:00

Tried to IM with M a little bit this morning, but he was at work and I realized I was running late. He sent this email midday today:

Hey--

Alright! I gotta come clean with something, so it'll be easier for our future exchanges. I never told you, and you never asked. For our arrangement, it was fine, and I think it is still fine. I'm married. That's why I had to do all the sneaking around at work and stuff. But with my new schedule, I think it'll pretty much be impossible for us to meet again, unless you can think of something. The major hurdle is communication, I can't get on messenger in the evening at home, and you can't call me on my cell (I can't call you either from my cell phone). I would've loved to meet you again off and on, but I can't think of a way. Can you think of a way? (I hope you can, you give some good head!! The best I've ever had!!!)

First of all, he should have been straight to begin with. I still would have sucked his cock, I just would have enjoyed it more had I known at the time. Secondly, while I may give good head at time, it's really sad if I'm the best he's ever had. And last, as I told him when I responded, if I'm going to have a regular hookup, it's going to be with someone I can actually call and get a hold of and see.

More Fun With D

2006-09-10T11:58:00.000-05:00

I know, it seems I'm seeing a lot of him. But right now, he's the only one I'm playing with. There have been other offers, but none that interest me enough to overcome the nervousness and apprehension that comes from meeting someone new.

D and I did some of our 'usual' activities this time - I sucked his cock, he sucked on my tits, he rode my ass from behind before cumming on it. He didn't eat me or finger me, because I'm on the rag, but he still got me off.

And perhaps the saddest thing is that had I stayed still and let him keep it up, I think I could have cum from just his kisses on my back, his cold breath blowing on me, his teeth nipping at me occasionally - I felt the burn begin low in my belly. However, I was determined not to be quite that easy to get off. :)

We did talk a little about what we still want to do to each other (besides fucking), and I think there will be more D stories in the future!

A Latent Post

2006-08-30T22:18:00.000-05:00

I met up with M last week and didn't post about it for a few reasons. I decided tonight's the night, though!

M was the guy who I first met at his office building. He had been asking to meet me again, but the timing seemed to be an issue.

I finally agreed to meet him again last Wednesday or Thursday evening. We met again at his office building, and I was hoping we'd play outside this time, but we didn't. That turned out to be a good thing, as we saw a cop circle the lot while we were inside. That would NOT have been a pleasant experience!

We went inside and up to the same conference room we were in last time. As I walked to the conference table to set my purse down, he came up behind me and lifted my skirt. He ran his hands around my ass for a minute, then squeezed my tits from behind. He turned me around and leaned me against the table, sort of half sitting on it, and began fingering me.

I came, once, quickly, on his hands, and then he told me to sit in a chair. I did, and he knelt in front of me. My legs went up on his shoulders and he began to eat me out.

He didn't tongue me for long, and it wasn't as good as the job D's done on me. For one, M was a lot more gentle - just some light licks on my slit and my clit. While it felt good, it wasn't great. He put a finger inside me again and kept licking my clit, and because I'm so easy, I came again as he did that.

Once I was done, I stayed in my chair and unzipped his jeans. His cock was already hard and it slid right into my mouth. I sucked on it, taking him in deep, while he fucked my mouth a little. He was whispering again about how good it felt, but after only a couple minutes, his pager went off and he had to go check his computer.

When he came back, he said he only had 10 more minutes before the pager would go again, so I sucked his cock in my best effort to get him off quickly - and it worked. He came in my mouth and I swallowed his cum down.

We adjusted our clothing and went downstairs, where we each had a smoke. I was disappointed that he couldn't play for longer, and I was disappointed that we couldn't play outside at all.

M's no longer at that job, so I really doubt we'll be getting together again at all.

A Planned Overnight

2006-08-27T21:47:00.000-05:00

I stayed over at D's again last night. I got there around 8:30 pm, wearing only a white vneck tshirt and a short denim skirt; he had his knee in between my thighs and fingered me to completion, there in the kitchen, by about 8:45; he was naked and had his cock in my mouth by 9. We fell asleep around 1am, waking up to play some more around 4, and then again around 10am.

I'm not going to go into detail - for one, there are far too many to recount - but here are some highlights:

-- He let me cuff him and blindfold him - a first for me. I teased him a little with cold water and warm lube, and I sat on his face and came all over his mouth. And I do mean, all over. Don't worry, I licked his face clean afterwards.

-- We enjoyed the view of the clear sky from his hottub. There's something about being topless outdoors in the night air that I absolutely love. Plus, the jets and his hands on me didn't suck, either. :)

-- D lubed up my ass again (more than once, actually) and fucked his cock all along it. He came that way, once, his hot cum coating me. And surprisingly enough, I actually came that way too, with D's body behind me, laying on me, warming me, and his cock stroking on me.

-- He continuously planted sweet, hot kisses all over my arms, my neck, my back. His facial stubble rubbed me deliciously, and his breath was so hot, his lips so cool.

-- He jacked off for me, too, using some tasty strawberry lube, and I then swallowed his cum when he was ready for me.

All in all, not a bad time!

An Unexpected Overnight

2006-08-20T17:40:00.000-05:00

I didn't end up meeting M again on Thursday, but I did meet D for the first time on Friday.

D and I 'met' on CL, about a month ago, when I responded with a question on one of his posts. We emailed back and forth, not talking of meeting at first, and eventually moved to IMs. I clued him into this site, which provided some fodder for conversations.

D has a hottub, and from the first I learned of it, I was interested in playing in it. As my luck would have it, it rained all Friday night, and I was a bit crabby for various reasons, but still went over to D's house to meet, getting there shortly before 9pm.

D's cute - 5'8, short brown hair, light brown eyes, nice smile. A bit skinnier than I generally prefer; before we met, I was seriously worried I would break him, but he proved he's capable of handling a bigger woman. I wore my favorite slutty black skirt, a zip up gray sweatshirt, and under it, the lingerie outfit pictured here. We sat on the couch, drinking beer and talking of randomness for perhaps half an hour. Where our hands and thighs occasionally touched I could feel his body heat. I asked for a neckrub, and stretched out with my head in his lap while he massaged me.

His hands felt good on me - warm, soft. He rubbed my neck and shoulders for a few minutes, and after some time, I looked up at him, and he leaned down to kiss me. My hand went around the back of his head, pulling him in deeper to me. We kissed like that until I got up and turned around to face him, and we kept kissing.

We stayed on the couch for a while, and in short order, his shirt, shorts, boxers, and my sweatshirt came off. We kissed there for a bit, his mouth and hands quickly finding my tits before his fingers made their way to my pussy. He fingered my clit, pushing his fingers deep inside me, and drove me wild by basically tapping his fingers, rapidly, against my slit. I came there, on his couch, from the attention.

After getting my heart rate under control, I sucked his cock, there on the couch. His cock is cut, my preference, and probably a little longer than average in length while average in girth. Nice fat, wide head on it, and I found a certain spot that when licked, makes him twitch. I sucked on his cock in a few different positions, and he fucked my tits there, too. He didn't cum, which slightly disappointed me, but from our prior conversations I knew he doesn't usually get off from blowjobs. Of course, I was hoping I'd be the one to change that, but nobody's perfect, and it was still fun trying to learn his moans and twitches, and find out what he liked and what he didn't. He seemed to enjoy it despite the lack of climax.

The whole time I was sucking him, he would thrust his hips up, driving his cock into my mouth. On the one hand, it made it very easy for me - basically just meant I had to keep my mouth around his cock, and he did all the work. On the other hand, though, it made it difficult for me to have any control - I couldn't take him deep on my own pace, because he would continue to thrust and drive his cock even deeper, deeper than I could handle.

Once I stopped sucking on his cock, D dropped to his knees in front of my spread legs and began to eat me out. It had been over a year since I was last tongued, and as I may have mentioned, I haven't enjoyed or experienced much of it before. Again, from our prior conversations, I knew D had said he enjoyed going down on women and was willing to do it to me. Lately, I've really been wanting to feel a tongue on my pussy, and had decided to fight my insecurities about it and let him go for it.

His tongue was cool, and his slight scruff from not shaving rubbed me in a very good way. He kept a finger pulsing inside of me, and really seemed to work his whole face around - sucking on my clit, getting his nose in there. I actually felt pretty comfortable with him eating me out - he didn't seem tentative, like a lot of guys do, and really didn't seem to care how long he was down there, how messy and wet I got, or give any of the signs I've read from other guys that have made me so uncomfortable with the act. In fact, he only stopped because I made him.

We cuddled on the couch for a few minutes, allowing me to catch my breath after my orgasms, and then we walked to his deck via his kitchen, so I could go outside and have a smoke. D walked behind me, his hands on me, while I slowly led the way. His hard cock was poking into my ass from behind, and we stood there in the kitchen, with the lights on, while we dry-humped. For some reason, that got me so hot that I led us over to kitchen chair, bent over it, stuck my ass in the air, and begged D to keep 'fucking' me like that from behind.

I could have almost come from that. I was fully clothed (well, skirt and lingerie were on), and D was in his boxers, and the feeling and the motion were just so incredibly hot. I bent over the chair, holding on to the arms, and felt him push his cock against me, over and over. Damn. That was pretty intense for me.

After a few minutes more of that, we straightened up and went outside. As it was still raining, we sat under the eave while I smoked. D has read some of my tales here, and knows I get off from a little exhibitionism. D and I had talked about that, and he wasn't into the idea of showing off for his neighbors, something I can totally identify with - I don't want to show off for my own neighbors, either! We could see D's neighbor on his own deck, facing us, sitting there with his light on. Soon his porch light went off, but we could see the neighbor was still there, so I was very surprised when D started kissing me and snaked his hand down to my pussy.

He started fingering me right there on his deck, and I spread my legs to accommodate. I held the crotch of my panties open to give him more access, and lay one leg out over his lap. It was dark out, but not completely, and D kept kissing me in (I assume) an effort to keep me quiet. I came there, eyes closed, the smell of my pussy in the air, not knowing if his neighbor witnessed it, but knowing that I wished he had.

I think it was once we got back inside that time that D and I started making out in the kitchen again. Standing there in the middle of the room, he started to play with my tits, pulling them out of my top. I gently chastised him for being such a bad boy, for trying to get me naked. He was only in his boxers, so he was a bit more naked than I, and he kept trying to remedy that. He began pulling my skirt and panties down, slowly, a little at a time. I kept telling him what a bad boy he was to try to undress me there in his kitchen, but I think it was obvious I was loving every minute of it. For every few inches he managed to push my clothing down, I pushed his boxers down. He, of course, let his boxers drop rather quickly, his hard cock pointing at me. When we were both naked, his hands gripped my ass, and I was pushed up against the wall. I love when a guy takes control that way. We kissed like that for a while, D pushing against me, his cock trying to find its way inside me.

Soon, though, we made our way to his bedroom and lay there for a while, cuddling and talking. D's body felt so warm next to mine, and he stayed so close to me. We spooned for a while, our legs and arms entwined, with D planting small, sweet kisses randomly on my neck, arms, back, shoulders. I have to say, this was one of the most sensuous, sensual meets or make-out sessions I've had in quite some time.

We fell asleep like that around 1 in the morning. We woke up a few times, finally coming somewhat to life around 8am. We cuddled again, D's hands constantly making my nipples hard. We alternately played a bit - his fingers inside me, my mouth on his cock - and napped a bit, for a few more hours.

During one cock-sucking session, I told D to stop thrusting, to let me do the work for him. That seemed to work, though briefly, and soon D resumed his thrusting. It's not a big deal, and it seemed almost instinctive for him, so as long as he was happy, so was I!

More than once during the night, D straddled my back while I was on my stomach, and began fucking against me from behind, never entering me from behind. Each time, though, it got a little too close for comfort, and we would stop. I knew D had condoms there, and he also knew my 'no sex' rule, and while I was very tempted, I was determined not to give in. Sounds silly, now - we both would have enjoyed it - but I'm just not ready for casual sex with near strangers.

In the morning, encouraged by the night before, I actually asked D to go down on me again - and he did. And Oh. My. God. Jesus christ was that good! I have no idea how long he was down there, but I do know I started to feel guilty about having him eat me for so long. It just felt so good! His tongue, I swear he gave some broad, flat strokes, all the way up my slit, and he wormed his tongue into my hole, just like his cock would have, and he sucked on my clit, and he fingered me, and I was cursing like a sailor, and I came and I came.

At this point, D still hadn't cum. I knew he's interested in anal sex, but I'm not quite ready to do that with a relative stranger. We spooned again, his hard cock positioned right in between my ass, and we fucked against each other like that. Picture a titty fuck, just with my ass instead of my tits. Pretty quickly, my skirt came off again (panties were already gone) and his boxers came off, and I felt his bare cock back on my ass. We resumed our fucking motion and soon D added some lube from his ample selection. He rubbed the lube in the crack of his ass, rubbed it on his cock, and began thrusting between my cheeks again. Never inside my ass, just against it. Soon he muttered those magic words - "I'm close" - and right after that, I felt him cum on my ass.

Though he had said he was okay with not cumming previously, I was still glad he did. Everything he did to me felt so good, and I came so often, that I was truly feeling bad that he only came once. On the other hand, though, I'm still glad he came!

I left soon after that, knowing if I didn't, I would fall back into D's arms, back into sleep, and would seriously overextend my stay by even more than I already had. We don't have any definite plans to meet again, but I have a good feeling that we'll make some.

Firsts: A Series: Part 4

2006-08-19T14:05:00.000-05:00

I have a new encounter to write about, but it was literally an all-nighter! It will take me some time to write about the damn good oral I got, the 'fucking' in the kitchen, the fingering on his deck, and the use of lube, so in the meantime...enjoy this next installation. Be warned, though, this may be the last of the series, because really, after anal and before group, what is there? I'm open...to suggestions!

During a conversation with an Ex about experiences and whatnot, I learned he was not a stranger to performing anal. His ex before me would beg him for it whenever she got drunk. My ex B, who was my first vaginal sex, wanted to try anal, and while I was game, he could never seem to go through with it, for a variety of reasons.

When I learned that this other Ex had done it before, liked it, and was open to doing it again...hmm. The wheels began turning!

Our relationship was a long-distance one, and Ex managed to attend a conference near me, staying both weekends on either end with me. One night, during that first weekend, while watching TV on my couch, we began heating things up a bit more than 'every day' making out. Clothes came off, and I dropped down to the floor to give us a bit more room. I was on my hands and knees, he was behind me, his cock reaching forward to my wet, waiting pussy.

His hands were on my hips, and he uttered the word 'higher.' I thought he was asking if I was okay with him aiming for the higher hole, and moaned 'YES!' at him. He laughed, though, because he was really trying to get my ass higher in the air.

We decided to move things to the bed, and he asked me if I was sure I wanted to try it. Hell yes! Being an enterprising sort, he had brought a bottle of KY with him, and used copious amounts to lube up both his cock and my ass. With me again assuming the doggy position, he started with a well lubed finger, getting my ass ready for his cock. I had been fingered in the ass before, and liked it, but it always takes a bit of time to adjust to it.

Once I was used to that, he tried to add a second finger, but I'm apparently pretty tight. He gave that up fairly quickly and decided to go for the gold: he added more lube to his cock, and placed it at my hole.

His cock was probably pretty average in length, but I always felt it was a bit larger than average in girth. He pushed forward a bit, slowly, always slowly, paying attention to what I told him.

While he tried to slowly slide in, the lube proved too much for him, and he quickly slid more of his shaft in than either of us was planning. I made him back that out, give me a minute, and then try again. He managed to slide his cock all the way in after a few minutes of gentle, slow, easy pushing. Once he had his whole shaft, or most of it, anyway, inside me, he held it there for a moment, not moving.

I tried to take deep breaths, tried to will myself to relax and accept his cock, but while it felt good, it also hurt. It's a huge invasion, and my ass started burning. I asked him to hold still, even though he already was, and tried for a minute to adjust and get acclimated, but it wasn't working, and I had to ask him to pull out.

He let me catch my breath, and asked if I wanted to try again. I did, and had him relube both of us up again. When he pushed in the second time, he again took it slowly, but it went in easier this time around. Again, when he was all the way in, he held his cock still and let me set the pace.

It still hurt some, but it also felt good, like I was being naughty, mischievous. I figured the best way to avoid the pain was to fight through it, so I told him to start fucking my ass.

He did, and the pain dissipated a bit, and the fucking started to feel good. Being the good Ex, he reached down to give my clit some attention to make the experience even better for me. When he came, he pulled out and shot on my ass, rubbing his hot cum in. I didn't cum, but I did enjoy myself.

Ex left the lube with me, and when I visited him at his hotel a few days later, I brought it with. We began fooling around, and he asked if I brought the lube. I was embarrassed to admit I did, but that was enough of a hint for him to take my ass again on his hotel bed. He slid in much easier that time, and the pain was much less. I still didn't cum, but I was closer, and I still enjoyed myself. He shot quite a load of cum on my ass again.

I always wanted to feel him cumming while inside my ass, but he always pulled out - he was a fan of the money shot. Maybe the next guy I let in there will let me feel his cum shooting inside me...

Firsts: A Series: Part 3

2006-08-14T19:10:00.000-05:00

And now, we move on to my first facial.

I started meeting guys from online a few years ago, probably 4 or 5 to be exact. I don't remember this guy's name or where exactly we 'met,' but it may have been a chat room online for locals.

Guy and I im'd a bit, and of course conversation turned sexual. We talked on the phone a little, and eventually agreed to meet one night for dinner. I let him pick me up, something I never do (or did - he wasn't the first I met in person). He was cute - dark hair, fairly fit, but dinner was dull - absolutely no decent conversation between us.

We got back to my apt and he came up. We sat next to each other on my old couch, talking a little, before I made my move. I leaned closer to him, as if I was going to kiss him, but instead I didn't, I just sort of shyly sat back. He laughed, asked what that was about, and I told him he smelled good.

Well, of course he did - during our earlier conversations I let him know I love a good smelling man. He smiled, asked if I wanted another whiff. This time, when I leaned in, we kissed. We sat on the couch for a few minutes, kissing deeply, before he stood up and reached a hand out to me.

He led me to my own bedroom, where he pulled off his shirt and we both climbed on the bed. Making out again commenced, and more and more clothes were shed until we were both naked.

He wanted me to suck his cock, but I refused. Not because I didn't want to, but because I had decided, before that night, to put an end to my 'casual sucking stranger cock' days. I stroked him a little, but had to keep refusing as he kept asking.

Finally I told him to cum on me, and he knelt, on the bed, while I sat in front of him. He began jacking his cock, hard and fast, and he asked me where I wanted it. Feeling a bit emboldened...I told him to cum on my face.

And he sure did. Cum flew all over, coating my chin, cheeks, nose...luckily I had closed my eyes just before he began to shoot.

We lay next to each for a few minutes, catching our breath, his cum drying on me, before I got up to wash it off.

When I let Guy out of my apt, we realized the door had never quite closed completely, and anyone passing in the hall could have heard us. That added a bit more of a thrill to what just happened.

I don't think I ever heard from Guy again, and I don't recall making any attempts to contact him, either. He was the first to cum on my face, but not the last.

2006-08-13T22:18:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note here. I don't want to jinx anything, but it looks like I'm seeing M again on Thursday, and then a new guy - one I'm very excited about - on Friday. Yay!

In between those tales, I'll keep the series of firsts coming at you!

Firsts: A Series: Part 2

2006-08-11T17:04:00.000-05:00

I sucked F off a few more times after that, and as I mentioned in Part 1, we still play on occasion. I sucked off a few more guys during the next few years, too: A, for $45, M, my roommates twin brother, D, though I think I passed out during it...and then there was B.

B lived across the hall from me my senior year. He was one year younger, blonde and balding, with bright blue eyes, and quite roly poly. I don't know why, but I didn't notice him at all the entire first semester. My roommate and I, in our 3yrd year together, had a suite with two of my other closest friends, all three of whom were a year younger than I, and we spent a lot of time hosting parties and being social.

I first remember talking to B in January; as the oldest in my suite, I was the first to turn 21, and was thus roped into purchasing liquor for everyone. One day, I came back from the liquor store (aptly named Discount Liquors) with a cardboard box full of the good stuff. B rode up in the elevator with me and commented on the stash I had.

We all began hanging out after that; room parties and escapades; low key bar nights; random pranks. After one night at the bar, B came back to my room to smoke. We were officially on a non-smoking floor, but my roommates didn't mind, so we often hosted visitors for a quick nic break. My roommate was on the computer, and B sat on her bed. I had changed to my sweats and sweatshirt, and for some reason stood in front of B, straddling his leg. His hands ran up the back of my thighs, giving me that nice tingling feeling, but we didn't go further.

My roommate decided to go to bed, so B and I adjoined across the hall to his room. I sat on his lap on the couch, his hands gently roaming but never touching me inappropriately. We moved to his computer desk, where he again put me on his knee, and he began calling up random porn pictures for us to look at. I initiated the first kiss, and it was sweet - deep, soft, passionate.

After that night, we began dating. We fooled around a lot but never really discussed sex. We both 'fessed up to being virgins, and were dating exclusively, but the topic was never really broached. I always tried to get him to be a little aggressive with me - back me up against a door, that kind of thing, but had limited success.

One weekend - we're now in the later part of February - we randomly decided to go to his roommate's parents' house, as they would be out of town that weekend. When we got there and put our bags in the roommate's brother's bedroom, B told me to look inside his bag, where he said he had a surprise for me.

"If you're a good girl, maybe I'll use that on you later tonight."

I peeked in, and saw two things of interest: a pair of furry handcuffs...and a handful of condoms. We didn't really talk about either, but he kept teasing me with mentions of his surprise throughout the day.

After drinking a bit and eating way too much Taco Bell, we retired to our room. The making out started...the clothing came off...and I found my hand wrapped around his (small) cock, sliding it bare inside me.

As I said in Part 1, my cherry had already been broken, and again, he was quite small, so there was no pain, just pleasure.

I rode him like that for a minute or so, knowing we should put a condom on, but unwilling to stop the motion and get off. I remember panting, unable to string more than one word together without grunting or moaning in between: "We...uh...should...mmmmmmmm...re...re... really...be...ohhhh...using.....aaaaaaaaa....con... uhhh...dom..."

He pushed me off him and grabbed a condom from his bag. I lay back and waited while he put it on, probably rubbing my clit and urging him to hurry. He climbed in between my legs and fed his cock back inside my pussy. Unfortunately, though, with the condom on he came quite quickly, as became the pattern. He used to tell me it was my fault, that I turned him on so much he couldn't hold back, but that's just bullshit.

We fucked and dated for a few more months until we broke up in May, a result of my cheating ways. We got back together when he showed up at my parents' house when I was housesitting one weekend - a man with a rose at the door at 4am is most definitely welcome, and we had a celebratory fuck, but our relationship didn't last.

I sucked him off randomly for a couple weeks, during the late winter, when I finally had my own place. When I moved out of state, he'd often call, drunk, parked somewhere on his way home from the bar, and often we'd have some good phone sex together. Usually, though, we'd start fighting, me begging him not to drive drunk, him telling me that I was 'the one,' me yelling that he never showed that to me...but I haven't seen or talked to him in years. I still think of him fondly, though, if for nothing else than being my first.

Firsts: A Series: Part 1

2006-08-09T19:03:00.000-05:00

Since it's been over a week since I've gotten any play, and looks like it will be a week more, I thought I'd try something new. In keeping with the theme of this blog - i.e., writing about true sexual experiences I've had - I thought I'd write about different sexual firsts: sex, blowjob, facial, anal, and anything else you request or comes to mind.

I'll write about these in the order that they occurred, which means...blowjob is up first!

I was a late bloomer, sexually speaking, and though I had had bfs before then, I didn't actually see my first cock until I was 19.

A sophomore in college and a sorority girl, I got to know some frat guys fairly well. One night, my sorority had a mixer at one of the frat houses. It being a small school, we mostly knew each other anyway, but it was a chance for both houses to introduce their new pledges, and for everyone to drink way too much.

There was a guy I knew, a member of the frat, who I had already been crushing on a bit. He was Mexican, and we'll call him F. A few years older, he was on more of a 5 or 6 year plan to get through school. He had quite a reputation as a ladies man, which of course made him seem like a bad boy, which of course meant I wanted him.

We sat in the basement of the frat house, music blaring, plastic-cup filled beers in our hands, both of us on a ratty old couch. I remember his arm was around the back of the couch - not resting on me, but casually touching me. Our thighs were pressed together but we were barely talking.

I don't remember how - truly - but we ended up in his room. As a tenured member of the house, F had his own room. Small, but all that was necessary was the bed. Again, the details are fuzzy, but my shirt came off...as did my bra...and his pants.

He played with my tits, sucking on them, biting a bit. He didn't ask me to suck his cock, but I knew the stakes had been raised - I was a college girl now, alone in a frat guy's room, a frat guy who got all sorts of pussy - I knew he wouldn't be satisfied with just making out, and I was very okay with that.

Even though his cock was the first I had seen, I knew enough to know it was small - maybe 5 inches. He had an annoying way (still does, actually - I played with him last October) of putting his finger all the way in my mouth, so I have no leverage to suck on it at all. He doesn't move his finger around, just keeps it in the same position. Very annoying.

Anyway, I took his cock in my mouth, and I don't remember how long it took, other than I was slightly amazed at myself, sucking the cock of this guy I barely knew. I couldn't tell you if I was any good at it, if he moaned, if I had any technique at all...or even if he warned me before he came.

Regardless, I swallowed his load down. It came so quickly, to this day I don't know how girls manage to spit! Once he was done, I got dressed and left his room.

Once back downstairs, I ran into my (still) best friend. "I've been looking for you!" she said. "Where have you been?"

Before I could answer, she leaned in close to me and started giggling. "Your shirt's on backwards," she said..."and inside out!"

I grinned and confessed, telling her I just sucked my first cock. "How was it?" she asked, like any good friend would.

"Good...but he tasted like warm beer!"

I sucked F's cock many a time after that, and he actually popped my cherry, though not with his small cock. That's another tale, though...

Making Out is Overrated

2006-07-31T21:05:00.000-05:00

I met J tonight, a 39yr old married man from CL who wanted to make out and do some over-the-clothes touching.

What a waste!

He was entirely too eager, first of all. I responded to his post this weekend and from there, it was entirely too many emails and IMs with him. We talked about the plan yesterday, then last night he emailed me about it, and again this morning, and again this afternoon. He had 'scoped out' our meeting place, too, and had it all figured out.

That's good, I guess, but also sort of way too much.

We met at the prescribed place and I climbed into his minivan. He's sort of cute, in an almost Bowzer from Sha-na-na kind of way. We talked for a little bit about the kinkiest things we've done. I started out tame - not sure how much he could take! but he may have had me beat.

For the past 20yrs, he's been having an affair with an older married woman. Some times he'd eat the cream pie her husband left behind. He also wanted his own wife to play around on him, take a bf, etc, but she wasn't having it. Apparently she was wild before marriage but then disappointed him in that regard once the rings were on! He encouraged me to not change if I ever get married. Okay, dude.

We mainly just kissed, and he's not very good at it. He has a HUGE mouth and seemed to just swallow me with it. He also put his hand on the back of my head, pressing me deeper into his cavernous opening, which made it hard for me to get any leverage away from his monstrous mouth.

He fondled my tits a little bit, getting my nipples hard and tweaking them through my bra. Once I took my bra off, his hand went under my shirt and resumed his tweaking.

I tried to rub his dick through his shorts, but he didn't want me to do that, even though he was hard. He wouldn't let me see it, either, which was disappointing, because the few feels I did get in felt like he was hiding a thick cock under there.

We were only together for about 20 minutes, because he had a softball game to get to and I was unintentionally a little late. He wants to meet again, but frankly - I'd rather suck his dick and get fingered, and he doesn't want things to go that far. Doesn't make sense to me - he'll fuck his longtime friend but not play with a stranger. MEN!

So, that's it for J. More possible fun coming up later this week.

Protein Shot!

2006-07-29T12:08:00.000-05:00

I swallowed two of those tonight from the same guy. Was going to meet a second guy after, but...wait. Why don't I start from the beginning?

SO horny this weekend. Didn't go to the party last night; I just didn't feel like going alone again. I was planning on enticing a guy I've been teasing online into going with, but he didn't log on until very late in the evening.

Today, I responded to a few posts on Craigslist in the morning, all for local play, but none really interested me once I got to know a little about them. There's one other online guy who wanted to meet, but again, just wasn't really feeling it. I was planning on getting to the pool, but it was so damn hot! I stayed inside most of the day, then finally around 4pm, got out to run some errands.

When I got back, around 6pm, I was still so horny! Back onto CL...

Two posts there caught my eye: one, for a guy who wanted to watch a movie, cuddle, and make out, and one for a guy who was working all night and wanted someone to come to his office and fool around.

I wrote them both and conversations commenced. All of a sudden I was faced with two plans for the night! The cuddle guy, K, accepted my proposed timing of 10pmish, and that left me free to meet M.

I drove to M's office building which is about 10 minutes from me. I was wearing the same thing I ran my errands in today - a pink tank top and a khaki skirt, nothing else but shoes. He had sent me a picture, and he's cute: Mexican, short skinny guy with a mustache and small goatee. Facial hair does it for me every time. ;)

He met me in the parking lot and we went upstairs to a conference room. Talked for a few minutes, neither of us making a move. He went to check on his computer, then came back and pulled my chair closer to his.

He leaned towards me and began kissing my neck and my ear, then moved to my mouth. We Frenched for a bit, then he began kissing down my neck and into my cleavage. He started to fondle my breasts and kissing the tops of him.

I pulled back, away from him. "Do you want to see them?" He nodded. "Then take them out."

He pulled down the top of my tank while I wrestled the straps off my shoulders. His mouth immediately went to one, sucking and licking and teasing my nipple. When his mouth wasn't sucking, it was softly saying things like "such big tits...such nice skin..." I reminded him not to forget the other tit, and his mouth moved over to that one. He bit gently, and tugged on the nipple, twisting it. Not until it hurt, but until it felt so good.

He took as much of it in his mouth as he could, and I love seeing a mouth full of my tit. I was rubbing his cock through his jeans and asked if he wanted me to suck his cock.

He leaned back and I got on my knees, then undid his belt and jeans and fished his cock out. It's probably 6", not overly thick, and cut. A decent cock by any standards, certainly. I took it in my mouth, as deep as I could, all of it at once. I started licking on it, sucking hard, hearing M moan and tell me how good it felt. He still had his jeans on, so I couldn't totally go to town on it, but I did my best.

He held my head down, a move I'm not too fond of, but I kept bobbing away at it. His hands were kept busy, one on my tits, then around to caress my back. I pulled off his cock after a few minutes and he wrapped my tits around it. His precum was coating the sides of my tits, making it easier for his cock to slide in between them. I leaned down to lick his precum off his head every few seconds, a move he seemed to like.

He also liked completely covering his cock with my tits, my 'big tits,' as he said, so that you couldn't even tell a cock was in there. A new form of peek-a-boo, if you will. :)

I finally took his cock back into my mouth properly, and sucked the cum out of him, swallowing it all. He kissed me after that, as he had when I was licking his precum, deep tongue kisses.

His hand then moved under my skirt, moving to my clit, which he began rubbing in earnest. I feel like a dog, literally, at times - if my clit is rubbed just so, my leg starts shaking! Anyway, he kept that up until I told him to put a finger inside me, and he did, feeling just how wet I was. He pumped my pussy with his finger for a bit, making that delicious squishing sound, and added a second finger when directed.

I came after that, but not as hard as I could have - I held myself back a little, thinking that a puddle of cum on the conference room carpet may not be such a good idea! As it was, it still dripped down my leg.

We pulled ourselves together, visited our respective washrooms to clean up, then went outside for a smoke. After we were both done, I said I was going to go - he knew I was planning on meeting K after that.

We began kissing goodbye, with my arms wrapped around his neck, and my tits again came out of my shirt, and his hand again reached under my skirt and for my clit. The rubbing began...and the leg shaking began...and I was soon keeping my arms wrapped around him for support! It got to be a little much for me to take, standing there like that, so I suggested we move over to my car. I sat partially on the hood, the still-warm engine against my bare ass, and his hand in my pussy. He put two fingers in again, pumping in and out, and used his thumb on my clit. I lay back, legs spread, tits bouncing, on the hood of my car while he pounded my pussy.

It felt so good! He was exclaiming over my tight pussy, my wet pussy, and really working it good. I reached down and began rubbing my clit, letting him watch that while he still worked his fingers in and out. For some reason, it was hard to cum, even though it felt SO good! I finally did, and when I stood up, I felt a little weak. :) We pressed together again, kissing, and he said his cock was hard again.

We switched places, and he pulled his pants down, leaning against my car, letting his hard cock into the night air. I squatted down and deep throated him, a move he definitely noticed. After a few minutes, the position started to get to me, so we got in my little virgin car (not even a year old!). I cranked the A/C and went to town, in my small little two-seater! He began jacking his cock with my mouth still attached to it and my hand fondling his balls. When he came, I again swallowed the entire load.

Throughout the night, he was calling me a good slut, a good cocksucker, calling me his little whore...and I liked it, because I was. I didn't feel it was derogatory coming from him, and I felt he was polite and disarming when needed.

Anyway, I left M to come home and catch up with K. I decided not to meet him though, because apparently he lives with his brother, so we couldn't meet there. I'm not about to have a stranger over here, so that left a hotel, and... I don't know, it sounds strange, but I'm just not about to get a hotel room with some stranger. I do have limits. ;)

There are a few other men on the horizon, too: J, a married man who just wants to make out and play over the clothes; and then P, the online guy I've been teasing for a while now. There's also...um, C, a guy online who's been talking to me about gloryholes and given me some tips on places for A and I to go. And of course, C has invited me to use him as an escort anytime A is not available. There's also a semi-local trucker who wants to meet, but I think I'm happier just flashing the goods to the truckers.

If you're still reading this novel...thank you! And I hope you're having as good a weekend as I am!

Weekend Plans?

2006-07-28T17:28:00.000-05:00

I don't have any of those yet. I have some options...

A. Go to another of those psuedo swing parties tonight. I'm not really looking forward to going alone again, and my favorite man, A, can't go. I'll see how I feel (and how horny I am!) later tonight, though, so may end up going anyway.

B. Go to the beach and try some 'accidental' flashing while I soak up the sun.

C. Suck off a guy from Craigslist who wants to pay a girl to suck him off...yum! I don't know anything about him, other than he's 30 (or says he is), but I'm in the mood to suck cock (like that's new!) and he sounds willing. I've told him I'm 29, white, bbw, with big tits, and he sounds interested. So we'll see!

D. Find some other man who is willing to play and cum, with or without monitary rewards.

E. Stay inside all weekend naked with the A/C.

Whatever I do, I'll let you know!

2006-07-23T22:16:00.000-05:00

I went to a friend's birthday party this weekend 6 hours south of here. J lives in the town next to where I grew up; we're not that close, and have only known each other for about 18 months, but she's as boy crazy as I am and I figured it would be a good time.

Now, six hours in a car is a long time, so of course I flashed my tits up and down the highway. Most of the truckers only got to see a view similar to that of the pic on my profile, but a few got to see the girls out of their top completely. It is SUCH a rush to drive along, windows down, sunroof open, tits out.

The party was fairly tame, I guess, compared to what happened last year, which involved a stripper and much nudity to the show. There was a doctor there this year who my friend, J, works with. M is black with cornrows and a very slight build, and though he looks about 30, he's 50. He's also married, and though he works down south, he lives up by me when he's off duty. Almost immediately, M and I were flirting and teasing. More than once, I told him he was naughty and dirty and bad, none of which he denied, and of course I said it in a way that let him know I like that in man.

Most of the guests are coworkers together, and so I was a little hesitant to flirt too heavily with M. When I laughed at some comment he made, spilling beer on my shirt, he offered to wipe it up, and I laughingly protested. While we did shots together - slippery nipples, mm! - and he spilled some down his neck, I wiped it up - but did not lick it up as a proper slut may have.

We stood together at the fridge, touching slightly, and making dirty phrases out of the magnetic words. When he dropped a few words onto the floor, he spent perhaps a bit more time down than necessary on the floor looking for them. No, I don't think my skirt had anything to do with it. ;)

(I wore a bright blue sleeveless, vneck shirt (perhaps a little loose), and a short black skirt. My favorite new blue bar-and-panty set completed the outfit. Oh, along with a bracelet J bought me last year that says "I heart boys.")

miraculously, no one was on the darkened back porch, so I took the opportunity to enjoy a smoke. M joined me and we shared one, which of course meant we had to stand very close to each other. I was standing sideways in between his legs, and I don't quite remember how (a bit too much alcohol), but he kissed me, a nice, deep, French kiss. One of us would take a drag, and then there would be another kiss. I turned so that I was straddling his leg, and we began kissing in earnest, long, passionate, tongue-filled kisses. He sucked on my bottom lip, something I adore, and I returned the favor. His hand reached up under my skirt and slid slightly into my panties, tracing a line upwards, but he didn't slide his finger anywhere else. I began rubbing the bulge that appeared in his pants.

We heard people nearing us, so he removed his hand, and I pulled slightly away. He planted a few kisses on my cheek, and I angled him towards my neck and ear. He took the hint well and began sucking and tugging on my ear with his wet lips. I know I was murmuring to him: That's it...mmmm...that's so good. MMMMMMM.

He reached a hand cup and gave a breast a nice squeeze, while he whispered in my ear about how sexy a woman I am.

When he left the party - early, unfortunately, as he had to work today - he told me he will be asking J about me. I'm anxious to know what he'll ask...and what she'll tell him.

Randomly, I also witnessed two women kissing while a man - in the proper doggy style position - felt up the breasts of one of the women. Yes, it was a pretty good party.

2006-07-18T20:32:00.000-05:00

As I believe I've shown, I have a purple vibrator. It came with multiple, changeable heads, but years ago I found one I particularly liked and haven't changed since.

The one I like has a nice round cup on it, and I've found it acts as a suction device - often, I can pull it out of me and have a nice load of white cum to taste:

I can then stick my tongue into that cup and lick the cum out and swallow it down. Here, you can see a tiny bit of whiteness on my tongue:

Foiled at Flashing

2006-07-16T21:54:00.000-05:00

It's hotter than Hades out there. My plan for the day was to go to a local beach and do some innocent flashing. Not quite the oxymoron it seems - my flashing would be done "accidentally." However, as often happens, things didn't quite work out as planned.

While barely on the way to the beach, I began to think I had a flat tire. I pulled into a gas station to look and add air, and of course their air pump was out of order. It did look like my tire was a wee bit flat, but I'm the least knowledgable about car parts in general, so I couldn't be certain. I decided to just turn around and go sit by the pool for a bit.

Below is a pic of the suit I wore today. The top ties behind my neck - very handy. And the cleavage showing? Quite demure.

However, should the mood strike me, I can...adjust the top to show a bit more, as evidenced here:

And should I choose to untie the top, in an attempt to erradicate the already pronounced tan lines?

Why, then I become practically indecent!

I'm scheduling an oil change this week and need to have the dealer look at something on my car, so hopefully the tire will hold out until then. Flashing will just have to wait for another day.

Tan Lines

2006-07-12T19:09:00.000-05:00

Since ya'll have been so encouraging lately, I thought I'd post one of the most recentpics I have. This was taken at the beginning of June, just after my Mexican vacation. Notice the tan lines? I didn't stay at a topless resort, you'll notice...but I wish I had! Big areolas...the better to wear your cum!

Yeah, they sag a bit more than I'd like...but what do you expect from natural D cups?

Addendum to Cream

2006-07-11T17:40:00.000-05:00

As usual, I forgot a few things I wanted to say about my meeting with A. Since the story's done, these are now in random order as they occur to me now:

-- A's not the usual type of guy I would go for. He's blondish, where I usually prefer brunettes. He's skinny, where I usually prefer stocky or husky. He's also way out of my league in terms of hotness.

-- I didn't feel I gave him the best blowjob possible. Maybe it was due to the angle; maybe it was due to how worked up I was, making it harder for me to concentrate on showing him an A+ time. When his finger was in my ass, my mouth wasn't even on his cock - that's why I usually prefer to do one at a time, so we both can concentrate on the matters at hand! (Or in mouth)

-- On our drive back to my car, he asked me if his being married bothered me then, as he knows it has in the past. Well, it hadn't that day...until he asked. Then I felt the usual guilt and concern flood over me. He asked if I would continue to play like this if I had a steady bf, and my answer was quick - "No."

And that's part of my normal problem - I want that steady bf, and I would be faithful to him, but instead of going places where I could meet him, I'm sucking married men off in their cars. It's a complete rock-and-the-hard-place situation, and for whatever reasons, I usually choose to sidle up to the 'hard' place, if you catch my drift.

-- Sucking A off and having such a good experience has made me crave even more. I haven't done much looking since then, for the next victim, but this weekend may turn that around. Not to mention, having such a good time with A has made me want more of HIM, and not another few years down the road!

Cream From the Tap

2006-07-10T21:29:00.000-05:00

I sucked on a beautiful cock yesterday.

A and I originally had plans to meet up Saturday night, after the party I attended near him wound down. I missed that window, though, and we resolved to meet up another day.

That 'other day' turned out to be yesterday. I had spent the night in a town about halfway between where A lives and where I live. He, after drinking quite heavily Saturday night, left me two very horny voicemails while I slept. He told me how hard his cock was, how he needed my mouth on it, how he was so ready to cum for me...

And how could I resist?

We met at a McDonald's parking lot. I wore a black tank top, no bra, and a short denim skirt with panties. As is typical of my luck, I was on the rag, so we knew our fun would be limited.

A and I talked on the phone while he was making his drive. I was nervous, very nervous! He pulled into a parking spot near me...and as soon as I got into his car, all of my nerves left.

A is cute - very cute. I thought that the first time we met, years ago, but had forgotten just how good looking he is. As soon as my car door was closed, he leaned towards me, asking me how I was.

He gave me a kiss, a kiss that started out gentle and tentative. His tongue slid into my mouth, and the kiss deepened. He tasted sweet - minty - cool. I'm sure I tasted like an ashtray, due to all the cigarettes I had trying to calm my nerves. We continued kissing for a moment or two, his hand reaching out to rest gently on my right breast. I know I moaned a little, right into his mouth, right onto his probing tongue. He was clean shaven, but I still felt a little stubble, making me almost melt right then and there.

His hand started to snake down my tank top before I pulled away and told him to start driving. We played it cool, my hand resting on his leg, our arms touching, me leaning into him, as we drove out of the parking lot.

Neither of us knew where to go, but A picked a frontage road and headed south. His hand was again down my tank top, and I turned to face him a bit and pulled my breast free.

His hand was squeezing my tit, softly playing with my nipple, tugging on and around it. My hand was covering his, loving the feel of his fingers touching me.

"You've got great breasts. You know that, right?" he said.

I smiled. "Thank you. I'm glad you like them."

I reached over to set A's cock free, and he lifted his shirt so I could get at his belt and zipper. He was commando underneath, knowing - from reading this site - that I love that. He reached down and pulled his hard cock out into the open, and pushed his jeans a bit further down his legs until they bunched at his knees.

Now, I've sucked small cocks and thick cocks, cut and uncut cocks, and A's is right up there in my top 5. It's long - but not too. Thick - but not unbearably so. Cut, which is always my preference. Just a nice, beautiful, thick head topping a heavy rod.

Did I lean over and start sucking on it? I honestly don't remember. I know I was stroking it, and A's hand was back on my breasts, as by now I had bared them both. The car swerved a little, and I began to feel a bit exposed. We were driving parallel to the highway and a few cars passed us on the frontage road, getting quite a site.

I pulled my shirt up back over my tits for the moment, but continued to stroke A's cock. I leaned over and kissed on his earlobe while he drove. A's hand wrapped around his cock, squeezing a load of precum up the tip for me to see. He quickly licked his fingers clean while I watched in awe. I love when a man will kiss me after I've swallowed his cum, and it's even better when he'll lick my tits clean after coating them, but not many men will do that. As A's fingers got coated with the second clear bubble, I pulled his hand to my mouth and licked his juice from them.

As if divinely placed, a gravel and dirt road appeared to our right, and A made the turn onto it. After driving a bit down it, it seemed deserted enough for our needs, so A pulled the car over and put it into park. We kissed again for a moment, then got ourselves situated.

As A leaned over to put something from the middle console into the back seat, the shift in his torso caused his hard cock to point right at me. I bent over and immediately took it into my mouth, sucking down his shaft as far as I could go. I bobbed on his cock for a few moments while he murmured encouragingly above me. I placed a gently on his balls, stroking them, then moving to stroke underneath while I sucked his cock.

Wanting a better angle, I pulled my mouth from that delicious meat and got on my knees on the passenger seat. A pulled my skirt up a bit while I bent over again to fill my mouth. His hand rubbed my ass a little and pushed my panties to one side. This movement caused them to pull tightly across my pussy, and when he smacked my exposed ass cheek, I couldn't help but to moan.

"You like me smacking your ass, don't you?"

All I could do was moan through a mouthful of cock as he smacked my ass again. I tried to deepthroat his cock as much as I could, but whether due to the angle or his length, I wasn't able to quite take him all in. Close, but not good enough for me, so I kept trying.

Earlier in the day, while on the phone, A and I had talked about ass play - for or against, experiences we've had, that kind of thing. With my mouth on his cock and his hand rubbing my ass, I felt certain he was remembering that conversation.

"Do you want my finger in your ass?" I nodded in agreement, as much as one can while sucking dick. He started to tease my asshole, exclaiming over how tight it was for him. I sucked harder and faster, feeling him run his finger around my puckered hole.

"Do you want it in you? Do you want my finger in your ass? Or do you want me to keep teasing you?"

I couldn't help it, I had to pull my mouth off his cock to beg A to put his finger in my ass.

He did, and I started rocking back against his hand. God, what a rush - on a semi-deserted road, sucking dick and getting my ass fingered. I kept my hands wrapped around his cock as I started to moan. "Yes...yes...oh yessssss..."

The sensations were getting to be too much for me and I made A take his finger out. Not because it was hurting, but because it was feeling too good. I know - and you, readers, do too - that when I have something inserted in me, and I cum, I GUSH. No towel was in place and I didn't want to leave A's car smelling like pussy juice.

My mouth went back on his cock until he told me he was going to cum.

"Do you want to swallow it?" I pulled off to ask him where he wanted it, and his answer was perfect: "All over you."

I sat back as A got on his knees. I pulled my top down and let my tits hang free. A started stroking his cock in front of me and hot cum began pouring out. Some landed on my tits, some fell onto my seat, some hit my shirt. I didn't want it to go to waste, so I put my hand as a cup right under his head and began collecting spurts. I quickly rubbed some on my tits before going back for more, which I began to lick clean. Tits always look better covered in white cum, don't you think? A was kneeling and moaning above me.

When he was done, he handed me the towel he had brought with, and I cleaned up the seat and my tits. When he was again seated in his seat, I leaned over to gently clean his cock.

We both pulled our clothes together and began the drive back to my car.

Catalogue: Blow Jobs

2006-07-09T17:49:00.000-05:00

Frank, college
Dan, college
Mike, college
Andy, college
Ben, college

Kevin, after college
Johnny, after college

M, Online guy behind the bar
A, Online guy behind another bar
Online guy in a parking garage
Old, Online guy behind the first bar
R, Online guy in a parking lot
Online guy in another parking lot
Online guy in my apt
R, ex bf
C, online guy I saw for a month or so
R, online guy I saw this year
J, blogger guy I met
M, online guy I met who I actually went to college with
B, online guy in another parking lot
M, online guy at office building
D, online guy at his house

Not sure if I'm forgetting anyone or not...As you can see, I was a pretty good girl in college...but I'm making up for it now!

Cream Soda:

2006-07-09T15:29:00.000-05:00

Not the only cream I've swallowed today.

More later.

Is Anybody Out There?

2006-07-05T17:29:00.000-05:00

Shameful, really, the neglect paid here. Just haven't done anything worth writing about here, haven't flashed anyone or sucked anyone or been touched by anyone at all.

Haven't had the desire to, actually. It seems like so much effort! It's all fine when I'm online and talking to some randy stranger, and we're turning each other on and talking about how much fun it will be to get together, and then we both cum together to thoughts of a blowjob or a fingering or just being plain naughty...

And then I'm done. And I have no desire to talk to this man again, for I know he'll want to meet, and I have indeed led him to believe I will meet him, and it's all just a tangled web and so I block him from contacting me.

And then I find another.

Not quite sure what to do about this pattern. I can't seem to stop myself from starting it, but perhaps I should stop myself from taking it as far as I do. On the other hand, though, what harm is there? So some married man got led on, thinking he would get to cheat on his wife, and he doesn't get to (with me, at least). Is that really something to feel sorry for?

At any rate, I do have plans I will be keeping this Saturday. A, whom I've mentioned before (and who is a reader here - say hi, A!), lives close to a town where I am attending a friend's party on Saturday. I will drive up there - it's about an hour from me - have fun with my friends - then peel off my bra and panties, perhaps throw on a skirt, and go meet A at a bar for some drinks and verbal foreplay.

We'll most likely end up in his car somewhere, me bent over his cock...I feel asleep last night a bit giddy, trying to decide what I would wear. Something that is respectable in front of my friends but, when braless, can be oh so naughty and suggestible...

Have No Fear

2006-06-17T00:13:00.000-05:00

Folks, I deleted my email account due to some info I couldn't figure out how to change. I'd like to keep the same ID, but as it's currently unavailable until they purge me from their database, I will be email-less for a while. If you wanna ask me something, use the comment forum, please!

Also, I'm not quite sure why I have been behaving lately. I've had some offers...and I get horny...but no one really interests me enough to meet. There may be one guy tomorrow, but he's chickened out before, so I don't have high hopes.

I don't know what's going on - I still have the urges, just not enough to do something about it, I guess. I'm hoping it's just a phase. :)

Now, go out there and misbehave!

Change of Heart

2006-06-14T18:20:00.000-05:00

I think I've rethunk my desire to suck off B and his friends. He's quite an...ass.

I'm not sure how much that should come into play or not. But the more we talk, the more I don't like how I think he thinks of women.

He tells me he'd of course be nice to me that night, because he wants to keep me coming back, and he's nice to "all his girls." I don't want to be part of a harem!

He also tells me he'd pimp me out. He wouldn't let me charge his friends, but he'd pimp me out to others. I don't want to have a pimp!

I'm not explaining this well. But he sort of disgusts me. I don't know how to explain it better; maybe I just need to copy one of our conversations.

Disappointing, but...almost not.

Tough Questions

2006-06-11T22:32:00.000-05:00

Not too long ago, someone wrote and asked me how I would reconcile being the slut I want to be with the long term relationship I want. If I were to start dating someone seriously, would I stop my extra-curricular adventures? Would I get enough from the relationship to tide my sexual needs over?

If I were dating someone seriously, I would not cheat on them. I've cheated before with little remorse; I don't think I've ever been cheated on. But I'm at the point now where I refuse to intentionally cause harm to someone I care about. How many cheaters are found out? Most of them. Besides not wanting to hurt someone I care about, I've also vowed that if I find a good, longterm relationship, I would not dare to fuck it up that way.

I'd hope that anything I got into would provide me some sexual outlets. I don't need multiple cocks, but I need multiple fun, if that makes sense. As long as he allowed me easy access to his cock, and was willing to mix things up a bit, I'd have no problems cutting myself off from other cock. Again, it goes back to not wanting to jeopardize the relationship for something that is ultimately so trivial.

Ideally, I think, I'd find a relationship with a man who didn't mind sharing me now and then. Who didn't mind or feel threatened by my desire for public fun, stranger fun, dirty nasty group fun. Perhaps he'd even allow me to indulge now and again.

I know I wouldn't be forthcoming with my desires; it's not something a lot of people know about me. And if I did express them and found him not willing to play along, again, that would be just fine by me.

I'm not as worried about finding someone who will let me be a slut as I am about finding someone, period.

Hello!

2006-06-08T22:19:00.000-05:00

Told you I'd be back! Let's see what the updates are for you...

I talked to B online tonight and asked him if he and his friends would mind if I brought a guy friend with to chaperone. He was all for it - very enthusiastic, in fact:

FoL: would you mind if i had a guy friend with me to make sure everything's cool?
B: not at all...
B: would he get head
FoL: yes
B: maybe he would blow us too...lol
FoL: he would take pics too if that's cool
FoL: he would
FoL: or at least jack you off
B: hes a freak huh ?
B: tell him about my cock ?
FoL: told him it is fat
B: id want him to lick my balls
FoL: he might
B: you could share my cum

So that's looking promising! I'd feel much better about things if A were there with me, because I know he wants me to be safe. I don't know if I'd want him to suck them off, though - that might be just for me. He could jack them off, though, I wouldn't mind that...especially if he aimed for me!

I'll probably meet B some time next week, just the two of us.

There's also...V, I'll call him, from online. We talk most every night. He's a big slut - 4 new pussies a week isn't unusual for him - and he will be cumming to town for some training in July. I told him tonight that I'd meet him but reiterated that I wouldn't fuck.

Apparently every time I've told him before that I don't do casual sex, he's thought I was joking. He was a bit disappointed tonight when I convinced him I wasn't, but we'd still meet for a drink or two and some play time. He's actually about 2yrs younger than I am - where generally I like older men, if even slightly older - and very cute, from what I've seen, where again I usually meet slightly average guys, if not below average.

Would I want to fuck him? Hell yeah! But I wouldn't, mainly because he is such a slut. I don't want to be just another conquest.

I'm looking forward to meeting him, though, just b/c he always seems so into me, thinks I'm very sexy (at least from the pictures, lol!), and also seems cute. I'm looking forward to talking more with A, and to sucking B off next week, and to sucking off his friends with A by my side.

Yay!

Remember Me?

2006-06-06T23:12:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I've been neglecting this blog. No new tales to tell, and the serious questions take too much effort to think through.

I just got off the phone with A, and we've made some tentative plans for the future. They include a nude beach (one of my fantasies), possibly accompanying me to another of the group parties like I went to at the end of April, and some possible play time in the future.

He's all for me sucking B's friends off, too - surprise, surprise. :) I only wish that he were either local or my slut-endorsing bf, so he could cum with to my adventures and make sure things stay kosher.

There have been a few new local guys wanting to meet, but it all seems like so much effort. I love the idea of it. I love the sluttiness of it. But actually getting ready to do it, or meeting and not liking the guy at all, or going through the nervousness of another new guy...it's all so tiring.

More later. I promise!

TGIF

2006-06-02T13:12:00.000-05:00

Sorry guys, nothing new to share. I've been fighting the cold of death all week, and it's been storming at night, so I haven't been out and about at all.

I'm still debating whether I should suck off B and his friends, but I'll admit that I drift off to sleep every night, picturing how the scene would play out.

I don't know if I should meet B again first, alone, to get a better feel for him (no pun intended!) or if I should just go for it. If there were another of the group parties cumming up, that I went to before, I would ask him to cum with me...but the parties are the last Friday of the month, I believe, so it's a long ways away!

I think I'm partly tempted to suck his friends off because I would love to have pictures of me covered in cum!

Otherwise, there aren't really any new men in the picture. I've conversed with a couple online who wanted to meet, but I wasn't into them for one reason or another.

I'm debating hitting a local bar tonight, seeing what I can find there. I dunno. I'm sure I will be ready for bed by the time it's bar time! My dad may be visiting tomorrow, so I will need to do some cleaning before then.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Temptation

2006-05-31T01:19:00.000-05:00

Remember B, the guy I blew in his car a few weeks ago? Well...he wants me to suck some of his friends off.

And I'm SO tempted!

I've wanted to do a group/gang for a while now. And this could be fun...I'm all atwitter just thinking about it.

After we met, he had dinner with some guy friends, and like a typical guy, he bragged about getting blown by a 28yr old. Told them what a good job I did...told them how much I like sucking cock...and mentioned it to me afterwards, the idea of being a slut for his friends some night.

We talked about it online the other night, and I'm wet just thinking about it. He would want to get a hotel room, and have the two of us start off alone. We've talked before about being shaved by someone...and I'd have him shave me, another fantasy of mine.

After we played a bit...and I had a few drinks, lol, he'd have his friends cum in, and I'd suck them off. He said there'd be 4 of them, so 5 guys total. He said they'd finger me, maybe even eat me if I'd want - which I would, desperately.

I don't know. I'm so very turned on by this. I can't decide to go for it or not. Is it wrong to do something that I'd have to get liquored up for first? Is it dangerous? Yeah, a little, but I think he can be trusted.

I'd have them take pics with my camera only. I'd eat and wear so much cum...

I told him that I wasn't sure I was okay with being so slutty, that I'd have to live with myself afterwards. He seemed to get that, but I think he also gets off on the idea that he could be the one to bring a slut to his friends, that he's the one who knows me and would set it up.

I don't know. We talked about what I'd wear...and it would be this:

with that same short black skirt. Nothing else. The top is a bit sheer, as you can see, and definitely shows of my tits.

You might be rereading the story of B and I (sorry, I'm too lazy to link to it) and noticing that I wasn't particularly entranced with him, so why bother meeting again?

I'm torn on that one, too. On one hand, a true slut doesn't care, she just takes what is offered and gives when asked. On the other...he wasn't HORRIBLE. On the third hand, lol...I want to suck cock. Do I need to like the person attached to it? I want to get some action and be trashy and fulfill some fantasies and be slutty.

I just don't know.

Welcome Back

2006-05-28T22:38:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the absence, if any of the two of you who read this noticed. I went to Puerto Vallarta for a week at an all-inclusive resort. Got lots of sun, drank a bit - but not too much - and otherwise behaved myself. Not necessarily because I wanted to, but because there weren't any options otherwise.

Had I pushed things, I think I could have made out with a 21yr old in the stairwell, but come on - that's a bit young for me, he was drunk, and I've had a nasty cold - so in other words, no, I wasn't that desperate.

I did come back stateside to find that R, the guy I was sleeping with, met someone new and has called things off with me. He did it via email, because he's classy that way. Oh, and he misspelled my name, even though the name is part of the email addy he used. Clever.

Do I really care? No. It wasn't great sex, and he never went down on me. I never really pushed the issue, either, but still. At least I learned something. I need to hold out for what I want and not settle. I sucked his cock often enough, if I wanted my pussy eaten, he should have licked it raw.

I'm just...disappointed, I guess, that even though it was a casual thing, that it's over. I liked getting some play, I liked having a guy in my life, if even in a capacity other than what I truly want.

I'm rambling. I'm discouraged tonight. Vacation was good and relaxing and needed, but seeing all those couples together...and the weddings that took place...and the newlyweds...well...

I'm back, and I'm tan, and I guess that's something to be thankful for in and of itself.

Tuesday Night, Part 2

2006-05-18T20:00:00.000-05:00

After I cleaned off my tits, R went back to his work stuff. I grabbed a book and curled up in his bed with his dog. I would alternately read a bit, go into his computer room to smoke and kiss, then go back to bed.

After about an hour or so, he called it quits and came into the bedroom, flopping down next to me. I put the book down and snuggled up next to him, my arm over his stomach and my head on his chest. We talked a bit, but mostly just snuggled. I listened to his breathing growing even and I rubbed his stomach a bit, gently, softly.

I tried to get up to leave once or twice - he was so obviously beat - but he wanted me to stay, told me I could stay a bit. I continued to rub his stomach, just barely touching, nothing sexual about it - or so I thought. After a few minutes, though, he had to 'straighten out,' meaning his cock was getting hard and uncomfortable in the position it was in.

I tried again to leave after that, but I was only teasing. If he was hard, then he would play...and he did.

I climbed on top of him - both still clothed - and began kissing him as I rubbed against his cock. He asked me if I wanted to ride it, knowing what the answer was. I climbed off and we both got undressed. He stroked his cock for a minute while I sat and watched in awe - I love watching.

"You want to ride it?"
"Oh yeah, I do, I do."
"Then get on."
"Get a condom, hurry."

He pulled the condom out, unwrapped it, and stroked a minute more. I had to beg him not to tease. "Please, just put it on, pleeease!" I was already almost straddling him at that point.

Finally, he pushed his cock into me. I wasted no time, but was quickly bouncing on it. I was bent close over him, whimpering in his ear. We fucked like that for a few minutes, and when it was time for a position change, I pulled off. He reached over to finger me, and - again - I gushed all over his bed.

He pulled the condom off and kept stroking, and when I had recovered, I took him in my mouth and finished him off, swallowing every drop.

I don't think he's thrilled with the squirting, though. When I sucked him off, I straddled his leg and thrusted against him. He had me feel his leg after, and it was drenched.

I know I get soaking wet. I know it makes a mess, but I can't help it! I told him it's a good sign, it means I'm that excited, but...I can't help but be self-conscious about it. He's not the only guy to comment on it, either. But what can I do?!?!

I'd love for you to let me know what you think about squirters. Email or comment, all feedback welcome!

Tuesday Night, Part 1

2006-05-17T13:40:00.000-05:00

Most of yesterday was spent thinking of riding R's hard cock, so I came home after work instead of going straight to my errands and as I had hoped, made plans with him for later that night.

I had told R I'd get to his place around 7 or 8 last night; it was more like 8:30. Got a haircut first, got a pedicure next...and basically got a late start leaving my place.

Finally got to R's, followed him back to his bedroom, and grabbed a cigarette to put to my lips.

"I've got something else you can put in your mouth," he said, taking the cig from me. As we started to banter, I rubbed up against him and felt his cock, already hard in his pants. I love how immediately hard he is when I get there. I know the anticipation gets him excited, and I'm not going to kid myself into thinking he's hard because he's that attracted to me, but I do like how immediate a response there is.

We started kissing, hard, as I pushed him to his bed. Then...his pager went off.

I knew he was on call, but he's been on call before when I've been over there and nothing has happened. Last night, well...something happened.

He logged into the work system and began diagnosing the issue. I stood behind him for a minute or two, giving his shoulders a rub, which he enjoyed. I wasn't sure what to do, where to go - I didn't want to be in his way, I knew he couldn't help the issue, I didn't want to be rude or show disappointment. I sat in there and smoked one or two with him, letting him drive the conversation.

He explained to me a little of what he does, of what the problem at hand was. For a time, he basically had to monitor the computer screen - see if a job ran smoothly or not. He realized, though, that he could watch the screen from behind me and multi-task...

I was sitting on an angled sit-up bench. I lay down on it, on my back, and he pulled his pants off while standing over my head. I love when a man goes commando, truly.

His hard cock came out and I began to suck on it. It was a very easy suck in that angle. A few times, he would literally go so deep that he would squish his balls onto my nose. I didn't mind that, made it hard to breathe for a second, as he was literally in 'balls deep,' but I'm a champ. :)

I was wearing a zip up sweatshirt, nothing under it, and I unzipped it a bit so he could thwap his cock against my breasts, which he did, mauling them at the same time.

He asked me to lick his ass, something I've not done and frankly don't have any intention on doing. I did suck and lick at his perineum, something I found he LOVES. He very much appreciated that, and he's excellent at giving me feedback. He gasps and moans and tightens up and talks, and I love all of that. My hands were wrapped around his upper thighs at the same time and I was occasionally grabbing and squeezing and smacking his ass...
...and he shot a big, BIG load all over my bare breasts. Coated them in white cum. YUMMY!

News? What News?

2006-05-15T23:05:00.000-05:00

Not much new to say since my last post. I'm now a year older, yippee. I had a shitty birthday; glad it's over.

I'm meeting a new online guy (M) on Wednesday for drinks, we just got off the phone. I don't know about this one. We 'met' in an online chat room for BBWs. Him, b/c he likes them, me b/c I am one. He's local, seemingly cute from his pic, and in the age group I prefer to date.

He's also not looking for a relationship, but assures me - though we've talked about sex and its related acts - that he has no assumptions in regards to our meeting.

I still dunno.

He's a little sub, he's said, which is not something I'm into. He says it's not an all-the-time thing, but I still prefer men who are in charge. Not necessarily dom men, but those who will take control. He's also not a fan of smokers, which I am, so...

Can't hurt to meet, though. He wanted to make a pact - he won't go home with me, which I already knew, because I wouldn't let that happen. But, he says, if I like him (and vice versa), I have to kiss him. Eh. I love kissing, good kissing, but a pact sounds stupid. I know it's just his way of breaking the ice, but...whatever.

So why am I bothering? Good point. Guess it can't hurt to make another friend. Yes, I know that's lame. No, I have nothing better.

R is now back from vacation but I haven't seen him yet. He wanted to come over Saturday but I was in no mood for company. I told him later this week we'd get together, I'd check him for tan lines. ;) Since I leave for MY vaction on Saturday, I need to see him to get laid before then! I have plans to ride that cock before I leave...

There's also another new online man (S) I've been talking to, really talking to, and I like what I know very much. It's fun - invigorating, really - to have a crush. Of course, I've learned the hard way that it's very easy for crushes to fizzle once you actually meet in person. I hate that. The disappointment, the ending...that fear has kept me from meeting two online men that I've adored in my past. Of course, neither of those men were local, so that had something to do with it, but still. It's heartbreaking, really, to find someone you can connect with so much on certain levels and then find that connection completely shredded in person.

I'll still meet S though, once we decide to. I can't not meet him.

Oh, and I didn't mention J at all, yet another online man. He's in the proces of asking me out right this moment. We haven't talked sex at all, actually, which I like. He has said a couple things I'm leery of: calling my minimal shoe fetish 'materialistic' - well, duh. Doesn't mean I'm a bad person. Saying, in response to a question I asked: "you can't be that dumb." Um...excuse me?

We'll see. Shaping up to be a busy week.

;)

** UPDATE **

J turned out to be a jerk. Here's the relevant parts of the convo:

J: are you free at all?
FoL: i am on...thursday
J: oh, i was hoping for weds
FoL: ah sorry i have plans on wed
J: but if you have a date then....
FoL: i am meeting someone for drinks on wed
J: lol, sounds like a date to me
FoL: are you free tomorrow at all?
J: wednesday is a date right?
FoL: it's a meeting. i wouldn't call it a date.
FoL: it's just hard for me to think of these as dates when we don't really know each other.
FoL: a date sounds pressure-filled
J: just wondering who gets to meet you first
FoL: it's not a competition
J: life often is
FoL: true
FoL: but there's no need to compete for/about me
J: why is that?
FoL: because i make my own decisions. it's not about 'winning' me or getting to me first. it's about who i click with, who clicks with me.
J: if you click with the guy on weds, you and i won't meet.
FoL: i think that's a big if
J: it happens
FoL: true
FoL: i don't know what to say. i'd like to meet, but i can't on wednesday. if that's an issue, then, well...is it an issue?
J: well, i hope you find what you're looking for on wendesday :-)
FoL: fair enough
FoL: good luck to you
J: i can see you care
FoL: that's not fair
J: yes it is
FoL: what am i supposed to say?
J: you could care less
J: which is why it's good we don't meet
FoL: whatever. you've made this very easy for me.

I then blocked him from viewing me online, and just received this email:
You're a coward to have blocked me in the middle of our conversation.
Best of luck to you...

It's obvious that not meeting this guy is the right move. If he's so bent out of shape because some girl he doesn't know is meeting some other guy FIRST, because the other guy asked first, then...fuck him!

I just hate not having the last word. I'd like to respond and say, "I may be a coward, but at least I have a date on Wednesday," or say "The conversation was through. There's no point in continuing with someone as small minded and irrational as you are." or to say "Fuck you, asshole. Grow up and grow some balls while you're at it."

FUCKER!

I hate dating I hate dating I hate dating. I hate 'meeting' guys this way and all the shit that comes with it.

Fuckin' A. This is why I hate my Ex so much - not because he dumped my ass and left me with a broken, bleeding heart, but b/c he did so, I'm forced back out into the dating world. For that, he will never be forgiven.

Internal

2006-05-12T21:54:00.000-05:00

Been a slow week - rainy and stormy the entire time, so I stayed home every night. Been trying to put into words something I want to discuss here, but it's hard to do, for some reason.

I mentioned A in my last post, and as I expected, I did not meet up with him. By the time he called, I was already in my jammies and settled down for the night, and he was still about 30 minutes away. We did talk for a while, traded some stories, and we both came while talking.

During that conversation, A reminded me of our history together. We've only met once, and he's either the first or second online man that I ever played with. Our meeting was fun and exciting and after that, we continued to talk a bit online. After a while, though, things started to get to me.

A is married, and I started to feel guilty for enabling him in his search for marital affair fun. I wasn't the only one A was hooking up with, but I still felt guilty for playing a part.

More than that, though, I started to feel...well...used. Not necessarily by A, and certainly not only by him, but the playing I was doing with random men started to get to me.

I'm smart. Well educated, well spoken. I have a good job, I'm self-sufficient, I'm, well...normal. Okay, normal enough, I guess. And yet, some guys - many guys (in my experience) - will only show interest if they know I'll play.

I'm not discounting that or saying that's wrong or bad. But while I love sex, and sucking, and playing, I want to find - to be in, to be part of - an actual, committed, solid relationship. All the playing around I was doing was taking a toll on my self-esteem. All the playing around I was doing wasn't getting me into something good, something lasting.

Sure, I felt sexy - these guys were complimenting me, wanting to be with me, getting off to their memories of me later on. It's a turn on. It's an ego trip. But as we know, it's not necessarily sincere.

I do believe that I'm more than just a mouth, more than just a cum dumpster. There's a lot more to me than just my suction skills. I want a guy who will recognize that. I want a guy who will want all of me, who doesn't just want to be with me because he knows I'll suck him off.

So, you see, all of the random playing I was doing was really hurting me in the long run. My ego was being boosted because I was complimented and wanted, but my ego and spirit were also being damaged, because I knew I wasn't wanted for any 'real' reasons.

That's why I stopped playing for so long with random online men. That's why, now as I start back up again, I know to be wary of it, to not get in as deep.

I know there are some readers who may/do disagree with my thought process, such as it is. Who think that none of what I call the 'real' things matter, and that as long as both parties are willing, fun should be had. There's more I want to say on that, and some emails I want to respond to, but I think we need to just agree to disagree here. I want the entire package. I don't think I should settle for less.

This is pretty disjointed; cramps are making it hard to focus. Hopefully my point is understood. And A? As for you...well, you know where to find me.

As Usual...

2006-05-07T20:55:00.000-05:00

...things don't go the way I want them too!

Friday night I had dinner/drinks out with friends, that went fine.

Saturday I had family time, that went fine.

Saturday night, I was going to meet a new online guy. He's the 40yr old - let's call him B. He was going to be online around 10pm, but when it got to be almost 11, I logged off and said screw it. He wanted to get together when we did talk that night, but it was after 12 and I get to be an old lady. Once the contacts are out and the clothes are off...it's hard work getting me back in either!

Sunday during the day I went to this hottub place to meet a new guy. I had been playing that very cool - not much sexual talk, we didn't meet in a sex room, he's my age (for once!), I thought it would be cool. There's a hottub place around here that lets you rent suites for an hour or so. He was going anyway - he's a contractor and wanted the relaxation of his muscles - and it sounded like fun. Something new, something different, something where I wouldn't have to suck his cock if I didn't want to.

I showed up, waited, and he never came. To say I was pissed was an understatement! He had told me his cell phone was busted, so no # to call, and while I believed that...still. I emailed him when I got back home and haven't heard anything yet.

When I made the plans with Hottub Guy, I turned down meeting B during the day. Well, I got home from my non-hottub fun, and found B online. He couldn't do an early dinner, as he had plans, but I hadn't eaten yet, so we met up at a local bar.

Two drinks and a burger for me, yay! I was wearing what I'm wearing now - a bright pink tank top (no bra) and the same short black skirt I've been wearing lately. Guess that's about due for a wash, huh? Anyway, A & I met at a local bar, and I got a quick kiss and an ass slap on the way in.

He definitely looks his age, and he's a bit of a bigger man. Was I attracted to him? Not really, but I could see the appeal. We sat at a tiny booth and I felt everyone in the place watching us, trying to decide what our relationship was. I don't like that part of meeting older men; I don't like the attention or the looks people give us. It didn't help this time that A groped my bare legs a few times under the table.

While he settled the bill, I went outside to have a smoke. When he joined me, he pulled me into a tiny alley next to the bar and started pinching my nipples through my tank top. I had to tell him - more than once - to go easy on them. Damn did that hurt! He also reached up under my skirt and fingered me. I came, dripping down my leg, as we kissed and he fondled me. Something about being in broad daylight, with a stranger, in public...it was very hot.

We got in his car and drove around a bit, trying to find a place where I could suck him off. He kept reaching down my tank top and pulling my tits out, trying to show them off to people. I kind of minded this - at one point, he wanted to flash a guy but he didn't realize there were kids there, too. He flashed a woman, once, with my tits, which is easier to do than it sounds, and I wasn't too pleased about that. And again, he was too hard on the nipples.

He also had his cock out of his jeans at this point (commando underneath), and it was a big fat uncircumsized cock. I stroked it a bit while we were driving, but again, didn't feel comfortable doing it when everyone could see. I'm all for being risky, but there's a time and a place, you know?

Anyway, we finally found a place to park, and I sucked his cock dry. Went straight down the gullet, I barely tasted the cum. We both had plans immediately after so he just dropped me at my car afterwards. He wants to get together tonight again but what he doesn't know is that it was a one-time deal.

Right now, I'm waiting for A to call, but I'm not sure I'll get together with him. Initially he said 7pm, and now he thought 9pm, and I want to watch Gray's Anatomy, so...guess we'll see if I get 2 loads tonight or just one!

Weekend Fun

2006-05-06T21:27:00.000-05:00

Right now, I'm naked and shaved, waiting for a new online boytoy to cum online and tell me where he wants to meet. So far it's been good banter and he knows not to expect anything from me, though I will of course suck his cock at the least.

He's 40yrs old, and while not the oldest that I'll have sucked, certainly the oldest in quite a few years!

I also got an email from A, one of the first online men I ever met to play with. Looks like we might be getting together tomorrow. He is the man who wants to take me to my first glory hole experience. I don't think we'll do that tomorrow - for some reason, I'm just not keen on doing that on a work night - but getting together will still be fun.

Hope you all are out sexing it up!

TGIF!

2006-05-05T16:01:00.000-05:00

I'm sooooo horny. I would fuck whoever asked me right now. No sexy weekend plans, but I'm hoping someone will cum up! I have dinner/drinks with friends tonight, family during the day tomorrow, and lunch with a friend on Sunday. There's room to fit someone cock in (my mouth) in between, right?!?!

Not to mention, I bought 2 new nighties yesterday - one sheer, whoo hoo! Two new bras, and then one bra-and-panty set. I'm wearing the new set now, it's blue and lacy and oh-so-pretty! My shirt is a bit lowcut, too, so guess people will be getting peeks - oops!

;)

S E X

2006-05-03T20:50:00.000-05:00

Yes, I broke my dry spell last night.

When R im'd me yesterday, he said he was busy doing a bunch of things, and he gave me the list. On it was jerking off. I laughed, said I was glad to see it. He asked if I wanted to cum over and watch. I said I'd do more than watch, and he asked what I'd do. I told him he knew I'd suck his cock.

Then he said I should cum over with a lot of red lipstick on, and I asked if he wanted me to dress like a trashy slut. THAT got him going!

So I showed up in my new lingerie and the same short black skirt from the other night. I also had a black zip up sweatshirt on - lol, not quite that daring!

I got into his place, and we walked back to his bedroom, which was all nice and cleaned up for once, lol. He had the video cam all set up on the tripod and asked if I wanted him to take a pic. I told him no videos but I was okay with pictures.

Climbed on the bed and stretched out; he stood right next to me, and I looked down to see if he was hard. He asked what I was looking at and started to undo his belt.

"Let me do that," I said, and I finished undoing his belt, then the button and zipper. He was naked underneath and hard - yum! Got his pants off...then made him take off his socks...then his shirt...

I started sucking on him and told him to get his camera. He took a couple shots of me with my mouth around his dick. it was so good, and he asked what I was going to do with his cock.

"Where do you want it, what do you want to do with that?"

I looked up at him. "You want to fuck me?"

"YESSSS!" His voice was all low and sexy, his eyes were slitted. I told him to fuck me, then, if he wanted it.

"How do you want it?" he asked. "Me on top, doggy, what?" "I want you behind me," I said, "so you can smack my ass while you fuck me."

He pulled the condom on quick. I was already spread out before him. He slid into me very easily and started fucking me. Mmmm it felt good! Nice to have a cock in me! I started fucking back against him, then, after about a minute of that, turned around and told him to get on top.

He did, his warm body slapping against mine, me moaning and gasping and him grunting on top of me.

He pulled out, then, and started fingering me. I LOVE BEING FINGERED! He had his fingers, one, two, I'm not sure, inside of me, then started with his other hand rubbing my clit. DAMN!

He would pull my head down onto his cock and fuck my face while he fingered me, but he was going too deep and I was having trouble concentrating, lol. He kept on with the fingering and I gushed - squirted - all over his hand. He said, "oh, you're squirting, aren't you," and he kept rubbing me.

He pulled the condom off and started jacking his cock hard. I asked if he was going to shoot on my face and he grunted, and then pulled me down closer and came all over my face. Shot a nice big load on me!

I told him to get his camera and take a picture, and he did. Let's just hope he sends it to me!

We sat and smoked, talked for about an hour. I asked if he had another round in him, he didn't. :( He said, "Well, you squirted all over my bed, I'd think you'd be done." When I laughed at that, he amended his statement to say maybe not done, but happy.

And for the most part, I was. Problem is, now I want sex AGAIN and NOW! He's gone on vacation for about a week, so we'll see...

The Sex

2006-05-02T22:24:00.000-05:00

Had it tonight with R. Didn't suck, but wasn't the best ever. I'll detail it out for ya'll later, including how I squirted all over his bedspread.

Whoops. :)

Breakdown

2006-05-01T21:44:00.000-05:00

Tonight's apparently the night when I start questioning my slutty acts and wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. I want so much more than to just be a cocksucker, I want so much more than to just be liked because I'll drop to my knees.

I've been showing in a lot of online chat rooms lately and I love it, I get off on it, on knowing I'm being so naughty and showing perfect strangers my tits, my pussy, my pleasure. It's so wrong, though. Isn't it?

I tried to get some Friday night from a stranger. Saturday I made plans to meet another stranger, but he cancelled at the last minute. Sunday I was supposed to meet R again. All of this is fun at the time, but I leave unfulfilled, even though there's a load of protein inside me.

I don't know how to balance finding/keeping a 'real' relationship with being slutty, with loving sex. I've never dated men I could open up to about it, and I've never dated men who truly satisfied me sexually. I've always wanted more than I got (sexually) and now I want more than I'm finding.

It's so easy to stay at home and get myself off with random, far away men online. It's SO easy, and it's fun and exciting and thrilling. But it's harder to step away and search out something real, something more than just being on my knees.

My birthday is coming up, and I already know how I'll spend it. Naked and online and being the slutty young girl that so many men fantasize about.

I just wish I could find someone to help fulfill my fantasy.

Stupid Difficulties

2006-05-01T06:34:00.000-05:00

As in, caused by stupidity.

Accidentally commented on a friend's site under this login - whoops! Luckily she's the only person in 'real' life who knows I'm trying new things, and as a bi, horny, loves-to-fuck-and-suck girl, she was cool with not checking things out here and deleting my comment so that traffic from her site doesn't see here.

Some of the info I will be posting in R form on my 'normal' site, so didn't want that crossover.

Gotta love friends you can trust!

Anyway, that's why some of the posts disappeared for a brief time late last night / early this morning - but they're all back now!

Disappointment

2006-04-29T18:19:00.000-05:00

Last night I tried something new and went to a club party around here. It's a group that holds monthly parties at a hotel for the purpose of hooking up.

I had found the site a few weeks ago when I looked around for just that. I wanted a place where I could go, hook up, maybe try new things, and do it with people who were there for the same reason. A lot of the local clubs I found don't accept singles, or at least not single men. I also didn't want to have to pay for membership or entry until I decided I liked it and would return. Last, I didn't want to drive too far.

Last night's place met all those requirements, but not much more. The hotel the parties are held at is barely 5 minutes from my house. Single women get in for free. And it's open to everyone.

The party ran from 8:30 to 2pm; I got there about 10pm. The theme was hookers and pimps, and while I tried to dress for the part, I don't exactly have hooker-suitable clothing! I wore a thin, cheap, short black skirt I have - above the knees with a small slit up each side. With it I wore a too-small white tank top and a big, sheer, white overshit. I had heels on, red lipstick, and was good to go. No panties, no bra, no way!

I stood outside the hotel for a moment, finishing my smoke. I didn't really want to walk in alone. Some older (early 50s? Yes, I know this isn't ancient, but I'm not even 30 yet, work with me) guy parked his car and I walked in with him. Not cute, kind of skeezy almost in his black leather jacket and jeans. He gave me shit, saying
I could smoke inside. Turns out he was going to the party too.

I got my name tag with my blue dot, saying I was interested in men. The choices were women, men, couples, TS/TV, everyone, or part of a couple. Got a beer, sat down, and looked around.

A few couples; a few more skeezy older men. A group of extremely large women. Now, I'm no skinny minny, but goddamn. I didn't quite understand it, either: one mother and daughter, two sisters...weird. Most people were dressed casually. Later in the night, two black men came in dressed as pimps, and their women were dressed sort of slutty. One white girl was dressed in one of those vinyl/pleatherish dresses - showed her tits, showed she didn't have undies on, but had an ass that was seriously, seriously wide. I was amazed. Her man with her looked small and I could just not even picture how they had sex!

Anyway. I digress.

I sat at a table and smoked and watched for a while. The only man who talked to me was Jim, the guy I walked in with. Jim was a regular, and told me how the parties used to be downtown, used to get completely naked, cops, people running around everywhere, craziness. Now that's changed. We talked for a bit, smoked for a bit. I was eyeing one of the few younger guys there, he was cute and alone. Jim left me alone after 20 minutes or so.

There was a 'message hostess' that would pass notes for you if you wanted, but I didn't get any and I didn't pass any. I tried to use ESP to get CuteYoungGuy to sit by me, but he never did, and I didn't approach him.

They had a professional stripper come in, some girl named Candy. The rules though (must be city rules?) were that she had to wear pasties and a gstring. She ground on a few different guys, made some bucks. Then there was an amateur strip contest, with again the same rules.

One of the first girls to strip was one of the large women. She took off her tshirt and had a sports bra underneath, which she took off. Some guys came up, and she rubbed on them, and then a few more girls stripped. It was entertaining to watch, and I would have loved the chance to get naked in front of strangers, but with no one there specifically to grind on, and no one to cheer for me, I didn't. They had pasties there, but since I was pantiless, couldn't have taken it all off.

Some of the guys were walking around, and I could see them checking out my name tag, wondering what I was looking for. I didn't encourage any of them - I'm all for older men, but I'd like to be attracted to them, and these just didn't do anything for me.

When I saw two of the CYGs leave, leaving only one left, I took off. It was just after 12, and the hounds were getting restless.

Will I go again? Maybe. Nothing to lose, really. Was just disappointing - I was all nervous and afraid and excited and HORNY, and then...nothing.

Oh well. Now I know to have lowered expectations next time!

A Pictorial

2006-04-27T19:07:00.001-05:00

My favorite from last night. Yes, I kept my skirt on!

His favorite:

Other good ones:

In Response...

2006-04-27T13:14:00.000-05:00

Juicy (I'll link you once I'm home) raised a good point in the comment on the post below. Why don't I just use my own camera when I'm with these men? That way, I would be in control of the pics, and have no worries about them getting into the wrong hands.

I purposely didn't bring my camera last night because I didn't want to take pictures. I knew M was interested in doing it, but cum on - how slutty is it to take pics/vids with every knew guy I suck? That's a trend I didn't want to set.

Yet, I realized early on last night that M wasn't going to interest me. Since he was apparently grossed out by my gushing cum, and since he needed a little recovery time before I could get load #2, I figured pics would keep him excited while letting him recoup.

Taking naked pictures is exciting. I get so turned on doing it when I'm by myself, and to capture forever a guy's cock on my tongue, on my breast, inside my mouth, to see his fingers glistening as they leave my pussy...I love it. LOVE it.

Only a very few last night showed my face, and then not full on. Would I be upset if they got out? Of course, I'd be livid. Would it be my own fault? Yep. Have I learned my lesson?

I'm not sure. As of this exact moment, I don't have in my possession any of thie pics, or the vid. And yet, I trust the guys who have them, that I'll get copies and that they will respect my wishes. Am I foolish for doing so? Probably. But until I'm faced with the unspeakable, I probably won't change my actions.

Twofer

2006-04-26T23:17:00.000-05:00

Tonight was #2 this week. A new guy, M, the one who I went to college with (I wrote about him earlier this week). We've been IM'ng a bit and he sounded, sexually, like very much of what I want. I thought we'd get together last night - he lives about an hour away - but I had a tummy ache.

Tonight, though...

Yeah. Disappointing. Got there in my work clothes - sweater set and skirt, heels, no nylons, bra but no panties - and he met me at the door. Kissed me a bit, and he wasn't great at it. I like firmer lips, I guess. He turned me around so he was behind me and I could feel his cock on my ass - seems to be the theme for the week!

He gave me the tour of his place, which of course ended in the bedroom. I noticed a Playboy on the counter and grabbed it, and we spread out in bed so he could show me what he liked. What he liked was apparently under my skirt, since he kept rubbing my bare ass. He had his digi cam there, but I said no to pics.

Soon enough, I was sucking his cock. He said he's 6", but I think it was more like 5". Not overly thick, but not a great cock, either. Anyway, I sucked it a bit, and honestly didn't feel like it was my best effort. The positions he liked just weren't conducive to good sucking - him on his knees on the bed, me lying in front? No, not great.

I didn't even realize when he was cumming at first, but he had been pretty vocal and then got fairly quiet. Since he was moaning loudly, I just kept sucking like I had been, and then I tasted it. Maybe his cock had been too far down my throat for me to taste it at first? Not sure.

Anyway, after that I asked him to put on his gang bang porn that he had told me about earlier. Some blonde chick taking on 4 guys - first just sucking and jerking all of them - and THOSE were some FAT, BIG cocks! - and then fucking them, 2 at a time with a 3rd in her mouth. Good girl.

While I'm all for dirty talk and being called names, I felt M got a little too into it. Yes, she's a porn star. Yes, she's a naughty girl. But did he really need to tell me to look at how her asshole is being used? That she's a whore getting pounded good? That he'd like to use me that way with his friends? I think it was just too much for a first meeting.

While we were watching the porn, I was leaning against him and he was playing with my bare nipples. I told him to finger me, and warned him that I make a mess. He got a towel - full size, like a bath towel - and laid it on the carpet. What? Why the carpet? And why did he get the towel wet, first? That was strange.

(Sidebar: Why do I always meet the guys who SAY they like to finger and please, but still have to be TOLD to do it? Why can't I meet a guy who'll - on his own accord - pleasure me? Not to get his dick sucked in return, and not in return for a bj already given, but because he knows it's appreciated.)

I had him finger me, fucking in and out, and then had him add a second finger to me. I came in a big gush, as I normally do, and he very rudely wiped his hand on the towel and then went to wash it off. Jerk. I was insulted, but didn't let him know. How can you tell a stranger, "hey, I'm insulted that you don't like my cum on your fingers?"

We went back to his bedroom so I could suck him off again, but he wasn't able to cum. Apparently, I give 'a mean blowjob,' but he wasn't able to cum again, just gave me precum. So I let him take some pictures.

Yeah, I know, you'd think I learned my lesson, but I want some pics, damnit! We didn't take TOO many - just a dozen or so - but got some great ones of me sucking a cock, his cock on my tit, his finger inside me...once I get them, maybe I'll post a good one. ;)

Since he wasn't going to be able to cum, I cut things short and left. Frankly, I wasn't impressed. He's too into the whole 'you're a dirty cockslut, you want to be my good slut' stuff for me to really enjoy. Yes, I like sucking cock. Yes, we talked about a gang bang, and yes, I do fantasize about taking on a group of cocks. That doesn't make me a slut, and that doesn't mean I will actually do it.

He mentioned something about getting together again, and I sidestepped it. Once was more than enough for this guy.

Monday Night...Part 2

2006-04-24T23:27:00.000-05:00

So, I drove up to see R without telling him I was cumming over. Called him from my car in front of his building.

Whatcha doin?

Nothing, you?

Want to let me in?

(Brief pause) You're downstairs? Sure, just a sec.

I said hi to him, walked up to his place. Got inside, hugged him, told him we needed to talk. Told him that I'm okay with a casual thing for now, but it will be a while before I have sex with him. Asked him who P was, a woman mentioned on his profile, and asked if they'd be getting back together. Told him I like giving head, but I don't get off from it...and that I left disappointed last time. He assured me that wouldn't be the issue tonight. Told him I do want a copy of the vid, and that it makes me nervous, and he assured me it wasn't going anywhere. We agreed that any future vids or pics we may take will find their way to me immediately. And then, that out of the way...we watched the video.

It was rather hot to see me sucking cock. The way my mouth got concave...and the shots of his cock on my tits, jiggling them in the barely-there sports bra I was wearing...but I didn't like seeing so much flab. That wasn't fun. We watched a bit of it, then ff'd to the part where he came on my face and chest, and where I scooped up and licked clean what I could. He said he had watched the video, gotten off to the video, and wanted to make another, but I didn't feel like it tonight.

We went into the kitchen - I wanted a drink - and he pushed me up against the counter, started fucking against me from behind. Feeling that hard cock rubbing up against me...his hands on my tits...then pushing my head down, grabbing my hair...I was still in my work clothes, just a top and skirt today, and he started rubbing my legs, inching my skirt higher. We stayed like that for a few minutes, me wiggling my ass back into his cock, him humping me. Then he pulled his dining room chairs out of the way and put me face down on his table. It's a higher table than most dining room tables. He was behind me, still humping against me. He pulled one of my legs out, propped it up on a dining room chair, and went to work fingering me. Rubbing my clit, me face down, wimpering on his table. Then a finger inside me, and one still on my clit, until I came, dripping down my leg, begging him to stop. Quite nice.

After that I sucked him off, him sitting on his loveseat, holding my hair back as I knelt in front of him. I learned a few new things that he likes tonight (hard sucking of his balls; deep throating and then licking at the base). He started stroking, stood up above me. I had been talking to him, asking if he wanted me to swallow him, to tell me when he was close so I could taste him. I was running mu hands on his thighs, sometimes smacking his ass (which he liked), and I had my mouth on him. When he started cumming, I grabbed his ass tight. He shot a decent sized load, but it all went straight down my mouth. I thought I was going to gag for a minute, b/c I was on him so deep, but I managed to cum through like a champ. :)

So that's one last Monday, one tonight, and looks like one tomorrow...YAY!

Monday Night...Part 1

2006-04-24T18:23:00.000-05:00

R: hey what are you up to?
Fan_of_Lust: just got home
Fan_of_Lust: you?
R: just got off work, getting ready to take the pooch for a walk
Fan_of_Lust: cool
Fan_of_Lust: beautiful out
R: you going to work out tonight?
Fan_of_Lust: no, the class is over
R: I see, so what ya gonna do? I am home bound since I am on call
Fan_of_Lust: i actually have no plans. i cleaned up a tiny bit last night, probably just run some errands
R: cool, what would you like to do tonight?
Fan_of_Lust: i want to drink
R: me?
Fan_of_Lust: naughty naughty!
R: could not resist
R: but you didnt say no ?
R: ?
Fan_of_Lust: no
Fan_of_Lust: i didn't
R: damn, just thinking about it is getting my cock hard :)
Fan_of_Lust: interesting
R: but I know I have to get somethings done, so I would not be able to play until after 8 or so
Fan_of_Lust: hmmm
R: I can get the movie camera out again if you like
Fan_of_Lust: bad!
R: get some diff angles this time :)
Fan_of_Lust: very bad!
R: and you are thinking about seeing your mouth all wet making my cock disappear on the big screen arent you
Fan_of_Lust: O:-)
R: or of having my hot cum spraying all over your face?
Fan_of_Lust: go get something done
Fan_of_Lust: maybe
Fan_of_Lust: MAYBE
Fan_of_Lust: you'll have a visitor tonight
R: I will stop jerking my cock now then, keep all that juice inside for you :)
Fan_of_Lust: nice
R: nice as in good or as in "OMG did he say that?"
Fan_of_Lust: lol a little of both
R: You said you wanted to be my "cock slut" is that not true?
Fan_of_Lust: depends what that entails
R: what do you want it to entail?
Fan_of_Lust: i'm not entirely sure
Fan_of_Lust: no humiliation
R: have I humiliated you?
Fan_of_Lust: no
Fan_of_Lust: but i am worried about the vid
R: what about it?
Fan_of_Lust: i don't really know you
R: Does that excite you a little though?
Fan_of_Lust: no
Fan_of_Lust: i don't want it on the net
R: It won't get there
Fan_of_Lust: good
R: so a MAYBE huh?
Fan_of_Lust: yep
Fan_of_Lust: :D
R: closer to a yes or a no?
Fan_of_Lust: straddling the fence
R: wanna straddle my cock?
Fan_of_Lust: i do
Fan_of_Lust: but i don't know that i will
R: ok, well its up to you
Fan_of_Lust: if i stop by tonight, we'll talk about it
R: um ok, but I guess I am a little confused right now then?
Fan_of_Lust: why?
Fan_of_Lust: about what?
R: I mean, this is casual right?
Fan_of_Lust: yeah
R: ok, no expectations, I didnt lead you on did I?
Fan_of_Lust: well, no, but we also never talked about it
R: talked about it how?
Fan_of_Lust: expectations
Fan_of_Lust: what you're looking for, what i'm looking for
R: Well I will be honest, I dont want anything beyond this
R: having fun, etc
Fan_of_Lust: that's fair
R: what about you?
R: do you like "having fun"
Fan_of_Lust: i'd prefer a relationship, but in absence of that, yeah, i like playing
Fan_of_Lust: but i don't usually have casual sex
R: do you want to have sex with me?
R: or do you just want to suck my cock?
R: I mean, its up to you, if you need a good fucking, I am all ready for it :)
R: ok, I need to go take the pup for a walk, so I will check in with you later
Fan_of_Lust: k
R: when you coming over?
Fan_of_Lust: if i do
Fan_of_Lust: it will be around 8ish, i guess
R: your coming, arent you :)
Fan_of_Lust: wait and see
R: well call and let me know, I mean, I might be running doing laundry or running an errand to Target or something
Fan_of_Lust: k
R: bye
-----
Oh yes, I will be going over there, and I will be cumming, and I will be tasting him.

Sunday Night

2006-04-23T22:14:00.000-05:00

I went to bed early Friday night - was beat for no good reason. Shortly after 2am, the phone rings, and it's R - the video guy. Yes, folks, that was my first booty call since I was about 21. And I turned him down.

Because I don't have the video, I didn't feel comfortable totally calling him out on being an ass - you can't just ignore me for 2 weeks and then expect me to let you cum over and 'bend me over the couch.' He was noticeably surprised that I refused.

He did IM me today to apologize for being 'out of line.' Snicker. And while I had him on the phone, I asked about the video. He said it was huge and he hadn't even put it on his computer yet, so that's good news...I guess.

Saturday was a friend's party out an hour or so away, and that was fun. Didn't get crazy, but was fun seeing a few old friends. I looked good, too. ;)

Saturday, before the party, I had another 2+ hour bout of phone sex with L. He's a dirty, dirty man and would completely own me if I let him. Not in that dom-sub way - although he is a bit dom, and I've found I am a bit sub when I'm with him - but in that 'I adore you-would do anything for you-I crave you' kind of way. It's frightening.

And today...today, in my normal 'show me the goodies' online playtime...I sent some naughty pics to a guy in my locale. And then I did what I never, ever do - I sent him a face pic.

He was kind enough to tell me he went to my college and knows who I am.

FUCK!

This, of course, was after we talked about meeting so I could suck him off. However...he did send me some naughty pics too, and says he won't tell. It's rather exciting that he sort of knows me. I've seen his face pic and have no idea who he is, and yet he sounds like exactly what I like in bed. I have the feeling we'll meet up at some point...And then, maybe FINALLY, I'll have some action to write about!

Why Ask Why, and Weekend Plans

2006-04-21T12:04:00.000-05:00

Several men, upon hearing of my interest in glory holes, have cautioned me to 'be careful.' They say I can 'catch something' there.

Well, yes, I could.

But couldn't I also catch something from meeting a guy at a bar and sucking his cock? No one thinks there's anything wrong with that behavior.

Is it because the class of men who visit glory holes is 'dirtier' than normal guys, scamming for chics at bars? I'm not entirely sure I believe that.

I like the risky nature of it. It doesn't mean I'll suck off anything that presents itself to me.

It's been a few weeks since I've heard from the guy who wants to take me, though, so there are no immediate plans for that activity. Tonight might bring a new man into my mouth, one I've talked with for some time time online. I'd go to his house, which is risky, but I'm okay with that in this regard.

Yes, I may sound stupid and naive, but I'm not. Honest.

He interests me, and it all depends on whether I'll feel willing to get slutted up and drive out to see him (he's about 35 minutes away, I think). A lot of times I have the desire but not the motivation. Guess we'll see if he's around...we know he'll be willing. ;)

Then, tomorrow night I have a birthday party to go to. It's casual, and for a gay friend, so I'm not sure what to wear. Nothing too over the top, but nothing too sheltered, either. Right now, I'm thinking of a short, ruffled jean skirt I have and either a lightweight pink top or a pink tank top. Guess you'll have to wait and see...

What will YOU be doing this weekend?

Hump Day

2006-04-19T15:14:00.000-05:00

I had amazing phone sex last night with a new online friend. We've only 'known' each other for a few days, but something immediately clicked. From our first online conversation, he wanted my number, but I wasn't ready for it.

Last night, I was, but I'm not sure what got me there.

We started out with a good conversation about sexual behaviors. Likes, dislikes, fantasies. Gender differences, societal pressures, how much we each masturbate.

He's...fun. He makes me laugh. He laughs at me. He's not afraid to tell me he likes me. He's smart and interesting and charming and lets me call him on shit, while he calls me out, too. There's this amazing chemistry, this ability to talk and discuss and laugh and learn and be real, and though it's crazy, I already believe him when he says he doesn't want to hurt me, that he cares.

And of course, he's not local. The good ones never are.

I don't normally like phone sex. I feel...pressured. I feel fake and phony, which might have something to do with the fact that I generally fake my climax. I've loved phone sex with bfs before, where we talk about what we'd do if we were together, what we liked about the last time we were together, things that I know can or have cum to fruition. But phone sex with a random stranger rarely turns me on.

Last night, though...whoa. That's the first time I've ever cum so hard I've cried. He pushed my limits, he made me push them. And while I'm very much not a submissive girl...I wanted to please him. I did what he told me to do. I liked it, I liked his demands, I liked his encouragement, I liked all of it.

And I came so incredibely, unbelievably, much. Gushed. Squirted. Drenched. Dripped.

It was a two hour, very charged, very erotic, conversation (not just the sex part, the whole conversation).

So what's the problem?

I could get hooked. He's charming. He's the perfect mix of good boy/bad boy. He's not afraid to say he likes me.

I've been here before, figuratively. I've gotten 'involved' with online men; some I've met, some I haven't. Almost all of them could pass me on the street and I wouldn't know it. Almost all of them have cut ties completely with me; I'd be egotistical to even think that they remember me, that they devote any thoughts to me.

This guy, L...he reminds me of a prior flame, JS, a man slightly older, slightly more worldy and experienced than I was at age 23. A man who taught me things, and respected me, and tried not to hurt me even as he was purposely doing it. And I loved JS, and I craved him, and I still think of him. And I'm worried about getting hooked again, I'm worried about falling for someone I can't have, I'm worried about never finding someone local.

I'm worried that since I've experienced a few rare, special, phenomenal men, and been shown a glimpse of what sex and relationships can and should be...that I'm ruined for everyone else.

Just My Luck!

2006-04-18T12:18:00.000-05:00

Tonight's man, K, just emailed. His company has been pulling him out of his training class all day and want him to come home.

DAMN! I'm feeling sexy, I'm freshly shaved, I'm oh-so-ready...and nothing.

Damn, damn, damn.

One Down...

2006-04-18T07:43:00.000-05:00

Had a nice dinner with J last night. Casual conversation, laughter, good food. Afterwards, I went up to his hotel room - it was still early. No touching, nothing sexual.

I turned on the TV, was watching it from the bed. He was putzing around with his computer for a bit, the two of us kibitizing together. He turned on the A/C, which of course drove me under the covers. I had felt the energy again between us, the sexual tension, and had wondered if he did. He had lay on the bed with me a few times, each time a little bit closer to me, but still no touching.

Once I was under the covers, he came over and asked what I was doing under there. He sidled up next to me, slid his hand over my breast, and we started kissing. I felt he gave me a lot of attention - sucking on my earlobe, kissing my neck, both things that make me melt. A lot of deep tongue kissing, a lot of sucking on and tonguing my hard nipples. Yep, soon enough, I was topless.

Still clothed, he put me on top and kept on with the nipple tugging. He started talking nasty "You want cock, don't you? You want to be fucked, you need it." I wholeheartedly agreed, but...the timing was an issue.

Well, we wasn't to be dissuaded. While I sucked on his very nice, cut cock, his hips pushing up to meet me, his hands doing a good job of holding my hair out of my way, he continued to say dirty things.

"I can fuck you in the ass. I know you want it. Tell me you do. I'll ass fuck you, so good."

Wow. Didn't expect that. Was...tempted, actually. I've liked anal in the past, though I've only done it with one man, and it was several years ago. But...okay.

I told him I didn't think he'd fit, he's too thick, and we didn't have lube, but he said he'd go easy and when I said no, he'd stop.

So there I am, doggy style, legs spread wide, ass high, and this thick, yummy cock is pushing for my ass. God I wanted it. I was whimpering, I wanted it so badly, but...

I was too tight. I wouldn't loosen up enough to even let him in. I was so disappointed! And he only brought one condom, too, so that was pretty much that.

I did suck him off, though, and swallowed a big load of protein.

And minutes after I got home, tonight's man, K, called...

Hmmmm

2006-04-17T16:00:00.000-05:00

Tonight I'm having dinner with the last man I slept with. We're just friends now, and he lives out of state, but he travels into my area quite a bit for his job, and we try to get together when he's here. Last time, I felt a definite sexual energy between us, but nothing happened. Circumstances around how we met and how we left things were very...icky, and I didn't want to mess up the calm water.

Tonight, though, maybe we'll see.

If nothing cums from it tonight, tomorrow is almost a guarantee. K is a man I met a few years ago through a mutual friend. We immediately hit it off and his cock was in my mouth that same night. K was never excellent in bed or with foreplay, but he was always willing to push things a bit and play, and I have reason to believe his gf has taught him a thing or two. He's felt me up in a bar, in my apt complex's pool, he's gotten road head from me, he's fingered me while I've been on the phone to my mom, and he's fucked me while others slept in the room.

For the past couple years, K has been living with a girl. Apparently it's a good thing; he won't let me meet her. Once they got serious, I refused all advances from him. He lives about 90 minutes from me, and emails now and again. Sometimes we get quite teasy and flirty with our emails, remembering - in covert terms, so we pass our employer's censors - the fun we've had. Fairly recently, we emailed about him lying to the gf, leaving work, driving down, shagging me, and then driving home - but guilt got the best of me. It just seemed like too elaborate a plan. But this...this is just old friends getting together, right?

He just emailed and is staying in a hotel about 30 minutes from me, tonight and tomorrow. Since tonight's out of the question, tomorrow it will be. We've already agreed on dinner and drinking...and he knows what I'm like after a few drinks...and if I drink too much I'll have to stay...

I'll have to start thinking of outfits to wear. Not sure if I'll head down immediately after work or not. Hmmm....possibilities are exciting!

Pissed

2006-04-14T21:57:00.000-05:00

Sorry to disappoint, but this isn't a golden shower post.

I STILL can't get R to send me the goddamn video! I've emailed him twice in the past week, each time short bullshit emails: Hey, how are you? Busy week? Send me the vid, please.

Or something close to that. Each time I got no response at all from him.

Then, tonight, after seeing him online a few times and not getting any messages from him, I IM'd him.

FoL: Hey, how are you?
R: Hey, just a sec
(Minutes pass, then R logs off)

WHAT THE FUCK?

It's not as if I'm asking for the entire video, I just want it emailed to me. He can still keep the fucking thing, just give me a goddamn copy!

I don't know how to get it from him. Anyone know any good intimidators that can go to his house with me???

I know his first, middle, last name, where he lives, and where he works. There has to be a way to scare him into giving me the goddamn video.

Any thoughts????

Relief

2006-04-13T15:51:00.000-05:00

The first time R and I got together, he came on my tits and I rubbed it in, licking my fingers clean.

After that, I stupidly began fingering myself - with the same fingers.

I've been off the pill for a while, and not with many guys since I went off of it. I guess I was still in the mindset that it didn't matter if cum got into my pussy.

About 2 days after that incident, I woke up, suddenly, realizing what that could mean. It just hadn't occurred to me earlier.

I've also been on some female-hormone pills for the past year or so, and this is the first month in many that I haven't taken them (thanks to a badly filled prescription and a doctor I'm no longer seeing). I've been worried about what that would do to my cycle.

So imagine my relief early this week when my stomach started cramping. All the signs were there - increased horniness, followed by a decrease in libido a few days later (as in, yesterday). Skin problems.

But..nothing. I've been waiting and waiting and getting more and more anxious. Finally, today, something happened.

The bad news means my glory hole and other fun will have to wait. But I'm definitely okay with that, in lieu of what could have happened.

Almost the Weekend!

2006-04-12T12:32:00.000-05:00

I am hoping my plans solidify for Friday night. If they do, I will be going to a local adult bookstore to try my hand, so to speak, at some glory hole fun. I'm very excited at the thought of sucking off lots of guys, sucking off strangers, perhaps trying some black meat...and basically being a slut. I know more or less what I'll wear - hair in a ponytail, short black skirt with slits up the sides - nothing fancy, just a cheapy - and either the shirt you can see to the right, that obviously allows for some public views, or a very thin, white, button-down shirt. The only problem with that shirt is that I think the cum stains would look better on the red...

You might be thinking that girls don't really want to suck off strangers...that no one actually does that...that it's a bit over the top. And you might be right. But I'm not here to be judged, and the thought of being so slutty turns me on. I like the idea of pleasuring strangers, older men, married men, and them not seeing me. Now, I'm sure there could be some skanky cocks in there, but I don't have to suck anyone I don't want to. I'm VERY excited at the prospect of this adventure.
-----
If Friday's plans don't cum together, I may be meeting a new online guy for some sucking. We've talked for a while: he's local, single, about my age, and just wants a bj. I'm dying to get myself near a cock, so I figured why not? Plus, he said he'll finger me in exchange, which I desperately need!
-----
I did some online shopping last night. Ordered a corset, but it's not the whale-bone kind you might be thinking of. The one I ordered was black, with a tiny bow and a bit of lace on the front. Honestly, it looked more like a tube top than a corset to me, but maybe that was just the pic. At any rate, it will show off fantastic cleavage, not be worn with a bra, and should very nicely outline my breasts. The back had a pink ribbon lace-up, too, that looked nice. Can't wait to try it!

I also ordered two new bathing suits last night. Nothing outrageous, just a blank tankini and a green one. Both with normal straps, vneck. We'll see if I like them or not.

I could have gone completely nuts ordering slutty clothes last night - and I wanted to! - but I do have a budget to maintain and besides, when it cums right down to it, I think I'd chicken out from wearing anything completely trashy in public.
-----
Yesterday I had an appt after work. I came home for about 20 minutes in between, and while I was getting out of my car I had a thought. It was super windy yesterday, and I was in a skirt. So before my appt, I took off my undies. Of course, my skirt was too heavy to be easily twirled about...and I never seemed to pull up to anyone who would have enjoyed the view.

It's like a conspiracy - no one wants me to be a slut!

2006-04-11T12:09:00.000-05:00

I feel very sexy today. Maybe it's because I'm wearing a tight sweater set; maybe it's due to the sexy heels I have on, only the second day this year that I'm in a skirt without nylons. Maybe it's because it's so cold in this building I think I'm nipping out for all to see.

I have an eye doctor appt after work, and while I would never play there...how can I take advantage of this sexy feeling today?

Monday

2006-04-10T10:34:00.000-05:00

Just as horny and unfulfulled as ever. Didn't find anyone to play with Friday, and the rest of the weekend was spent under parental care, so....

I've asked R for the video and haven't received it yet. Am mildly annoyed by that. Although, sending me a copy doesn't mean anything. When I asked him what he was going to do with it, he said keep it for his private collection, and I think I trust him, despite barely knowing him. Shrug. A bit too late to worry about that now, isn't it?

Although I am debating - if I see him again - getting him to take pics with MY camera. Guess we'll have to see how much of a jerk he is.

Yeah, I'm not making any wagers!

TGIF

2006-04-07T15:24:00.000-05:00

Despite the carpal tunnel in my wrists that's developing from too much masturbation, all I want to do is go home, get naked, send out pictures to men online, and make myself cum.

It's my new favorite thing - taking tit shots, pussy shots, maybe even vibrator-in-pussy shots, and emailing them to men who ask for them. And with the beauty of online chat rooms, lots of men are around to ask.

It makes me feel so slutty to know that strangers, married men, older men, are looking at me that way. That they're getting turned on by me, getting hard by what I show them, and in some cases, even cumming all over my pictures.

It's incredibly hot, and most likely incredibly twisted. Is it? Is it hurting anyone? Do I care?

I never took pictures before a few weeks ago, and then I only sent out the tit shots. Like everything else, though, the more you do it, the more blase you become - hence the numbers of strangers who have seen my juicy, glistening pussy.

I'm also very tempted to take things to the next level, whatever that means. Whether that's getting together with a very sexy guy I've 'met' online for some fun, or letting another online man teach me what good cunninglingus is, or getting together with the online guy I've played with twice before, or even meeting the one particular man who I met online, played with in person, for some glory hole debauchery....

I've had many opportunities to expand my boundaries, to try new things, and I've resisted most of them out of fear. Right now, I'm willing (and eager!) to test my limits...but I'm worried that perhaps I won't feel that way later tonight, when I'm alone, and able to dress in trashy clothes and make some fantasies realities.

Baby steps aren't a bad thing, I suppose.

Classic

2006-04-04T23:10:00.000-05:00

So the guy from the first post, R, is online now. We met online. He buzzed me, said he had some things to take care of online but wanted to say hi. Great. He has a busy week coming up, I'm aware of that.

So why do I see him in a Thirties Love chat room??????

Asshole. Not to mention, he's totally blocking me from being in the chat rooms I want to be in, b/c I don't want him to know which rooms I frequent.

Gah.

What to Do

2006-04-04T22:42:00.000-05:00

Spring time is definitely in the air, and with it comes a mad desire to get fucked. Unfortunately for me, perhaps, I'm not a fan of casual sex. Never had a one night stand; really want to, but can't seem to break through the barrier that I was raised with - sex is not casual! sex should be with someone you love!

Which isn't to say that I've only slept with guys I've loved. Two of the guys, I loved, though I know I didn't when we first started sleeping together. The others, well...it was still fun!

Now, as far as blowjobs go...I'm the Queen of casual ones. That's certainly helped by the phase when I got into meeting men from online to suck them off. Older men, married men...we'd meet at night, or at dusk, go park somewhere...in their car, my tits out, their cock in my mouth...rubbing their cum on my tits if they shot it there...yeah, how hot was that?

I like the power, I like knowing they're attracted to me, I like the sluttiness of it all. And to me, it's a way to continue to unleash my sex drive while still not breaking any of my rules.

Lately, though, I've been wanting to break my rules. More on that later, though.

Another First

2006-04-04T18:05:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to R's house. This was our second meeting and I knew - based on our first meeting and the IM conversation we had prior - that there would be some action. I was also fairly sure he would want to take some pictures of me sucking his cock, and I was very intrigued by that.

When I got there, he was hard and ready to go. He showed me that his digital camera was set up to record - and display the images on his massive 5' TV screen.

So yes, I sucked his cock while he filmed it. I also let him cum on my face, a naughty treat that makes me feel slutty - in a good way - while he filmed it.

My tits looked enormous on screen. But then, so did my flab. It was still fairly hot.

The rest of the night tanked, however. I only got off once - and then by rubbing my pant-covered cunt across his knee. My pants were pulling tighter against my crotch, and he would thrust his leg up. We were making out, he was kissing and sucking on my neck and ear. Very hot, and when I came, I gushed - wetting his pant leg and the crotch of my own.

However, that was the only time I got off by him last night. I did suck him off a second time and swallowed - quite a big load, too. He said it was 'very good' and was quite spent by it. I do like to do a good job.

I was ready to get off again but he said there wasn't time, or some other lame excuse.

Not sure if I'll see him again.

Ah hell, who am I kidding?